I am so burdened tonight and wonder if my recent bout with discontentment is due to a stirring up in my spirit. I am convinced that the world we live in is in the shape its in because of the carnality of God's people. Friends I gave a word to...friends I gave books to...friends I have given godly counsel to...friends I have prayed for consistently...all seem to be going the way of the world and not the way of the Lord. Not only does it sadden me, but it grieves me to the point of tears. It makes me want to cry out, "Where are the intercessors?!" as a woman did years ago at a prayer conference we hosted at our church. It makes me want to cry out, "Where are those who are willing to stand up for righteousness?!" Stand up if you dare. Am I so unequally yoked with fellow believers that I in some way pose a threat? Are we at odds with one another because of our many misinterpretations of one truth? Has our anger clouded our ability to walk by faith? And has the giant in our life (pride and self) rendered us powerless against the wiles of the enemy? It's no wonder how the enemy runs circles around us; the church is so busy running around in circles attacking itself. We fight the same battles with the same people year after year when all we need to do is pick up our weapons and point them in the direction of the real enemy. If the enemy can keep us bound up with anger, bitterness and unforgiveness towards others in the church, then we will just self destruct.
My pastor said, "The enemy plots; God plans."
Are we plotting revenge against our brothers? Or are we planning our forgiveness? Are we planning ways to bless those who curse us and spitefully use us? Are we planning a way of victory?
Joyce Meyer said, "Most Christians want enough of God to stay out of hell, but not enough to walk in victory."
It makes me wonder who I can trust to pray for me on my left or my right. Especially when I don't see any of them in prayer on Saturday mornings. Everyone wants their prayers answered and a breakthrough but nobody wants to get up early on a Saturday morning to
actually pray.
So I offer this, "Everyone wants their needs met, but nobody takes the time to meet the Need Meeter."
That takes time. And effort. And it's not the popular choice. It's not what most people would consider fun. Then again, (I'm sure), neither was dying on the cross. Yet He did it anyway. And not to lay a guilt trip on anyone, but He went to the cross even though we didn't pray. We didn't ask for salvation. But it just goes to show the depth of His love for us. He is always moving and working on our behalf. And to be completely honest, we needed Him to. He knows what we have need of before we even ask--and especially if we dont ask.
And knowing that truth, I will persevere in prayer for those who choose not to ask for themselves. For those who are maybe afraid to ask. I will ask for God in some way to intervene.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Preserved
You have granted me life and lovingkindness; and Your care has preseved my spirit. Job 10:12
The other day, my pastor and others 'confirmed me in my ministry' when they prayed for me. In the prayer, one of the pastors used the word preserved. Specifically, that God has preserved me and spared me. And that the enemy desired to sift me. And the word, preserved really stuck out...I guess because I am feeling old and a bit lonely. My flesh side wants to go the way of the world to ease my loneliness, but my spirit knows I have no business doing what my friends do. Just the other day, while talking to a friend I realized just how different my views are compared to many around me. And I though, "Whoa Lord, is this what you meant when in Your word it says we are a peculiar people? I remember a time when an aunt asked me, "Don't you want to be normal?" It hurt my feelings then. But now, as I get older (just turned 40 yesterday) I am understanding a little more about what the Lord has called me to be and not what I necessarily wanted. I could go and do what everyone else not what God desires for my life. And I want to be EVERYthing God wants me to be. My life could be very different, but I do desire signs and wonders--not parties and friends.
So my flesh sometimes has a little trouble getting behind my spirit on this, but it's catching on.
The other day, my pastor and others 'confirmed me in my ministry' when they prayed for me. In the prayer, one of the pastors used the word preserved. Specifically, that God has preserved me and spared me. And that the enemy desired to sift me. And the word, preserved really stuck out...I guess because I am feeling old and a bit lonely. My flesh side wants to go the way of the world to ease my loneliness, but my spirit knows I have no business doing what my friends do. Just the other day, while talking to a friend I realized just how different my views are compared to many around me. And I though, "Whoa Lord, is this what you meant when in Your word it says we are a peculiar people? I remember a time when an aunt asked me, "Don't you want to be normal?" It hurt my feelings then. But now, as I get older (just turned 40 yesterday) I am understanding a little more about what the Lord has called me to be and not what I necessarily wanted. I could go and do what everyone else not what God desires for my life. And I want to be EVERYthing God wants me to be. My life could be very different, but I do desire signs and wonders--not parties and friends.
So my flesh sometimes has a little trouble getting behind my spirit on this, but it's catching on.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
No Regrets...
I used to say that I didn't have any regrets, however there are always things we wish we could go back and do over. *shrugs* Most of the triumphs, tragedies and incidents we experience I believe are cause and effect. Others are by divine design since I do believe that my footsteps are ordained by God. But as I look back, I do see where "free will" kicked in and I journeyed off track. (The sad thing about free will is that, when we choose to do what we will instead of what is God's will, it is rarely ever free. There are consequences and a price to be paid. I have paid a great price to buy my own so called freedom. And even though I am wilingly choosing God's will for my life, I feel there are still things I am paying for.) So while I don't regret the experiences I have had, there are things I wish I could do over. If I didn't believe in salvation and redemption, this list would be more relevant and possibl drive me into a deep depression. But I do believe there is hope for me yet.
That I didn't take more chances in life regarding certain things such as traveling--I could have been an evangelist or nurse in some third world country.
That I wasted kisses (and my heart) on a boy who lied to me for seven years.
That I didn't speak up when I should have and allowed a stranger to take advantage of me sexually.
That I lost so many years of loving my dad because of my anger and bitterness towards him.
That I never had the guts to hsave my head.
That I ever lived a day with fear about anything and allowed it to affect my decisions.
That my mom and I weren't friends sooner.
That I ever got involved with a friend. The romance never compares to the stability and unconditional love of true friendship.
That I never bought my black Rubicon Jeep so I could drive up PCH with my hair flying wildly in the wind to the B-52's Summer of Love.
That I don't really know my brothers and sisters.
That I never had my little boy so I could sing to Him with him.
That I didn't devote more time to write songs and poems, etc.
That I didn't take some random course in college just for the fun of it. Or that I didn't get a degree to become something more than what I am.
That I didn't stay focused more on God and the gifts He gave to me so that I could use them to bless others. Instead, I chased after things of the flesh.
That I never bought a motorcycle.
That I didn't do better in school. And I never joined a sport though I was althletic.
That I never became a chef.
That I ever lied to my friends and loved ones. Deceit is never something I wanted to be my best trait.
That I never found someone who gave me that "swept-off-my-feet feeling" to marry.
That it took me so long to sponsor a child.
That I still have a rectangular box up on the shelf in my closet filled with my dad's ashes (Well, half. The other half was spread in Montana; I was supposed to spread the remaining in the ocean.)
The last one was the one that got me started on this list.
That I didn't take more chances in life regarding certain things such as traveling--I could have been an evangelist or nurse in some third world country.
That I wasted kisses (and my heart) on a boy who lied to me for seven years.
That I didn't speak up when I should have and allowed a stranger to take advantage of me sexually.
That I lost so many years of loving my dad because of my anger and bitterness towards him.
That I never had the guts to hsave my head.
That I ever lived a day with fear about anything and allowed it to affect my decisions.
That my mom and I weren't friends sooner.
That I ever got involved with a friend. The romance never compares to the stability and unconditional love of true friendship.
That I never bought my black Rubicon Jeep so I could drive up PCH with my hair flying wildly in the wind to the B-52's Summer of Love.
That I don't really know my brothers and sisters.
That I never had my little boy so I could sing to Him with him.
That I didn't devote more time to write songs and poems, etc.
That I didn't take some random course in college just for the fun of it. Or that I didn't get a degree to become something more than what I am.
That I didn't stay focused more on God and the gifts He gave to me so that I could use them to bless others. Instead, I chased after things of the flesh.
That I never bought a motorcycle.
That I didn't do better in school. And I never joined a sport though I was althletic.
That I never became a chef.
That I ever lied to my friends and loved ones. Deceit is never something I wanted to be my best trait.
That I never found someone who gave me that "swept-off-my-feet feeling" to marry.
That it took me so long to sponsor a child.
That I still have a rectangular box up on the shelf in my closet filled with my dad's ashes (Well, half. The other half was spread in Montana; I was supposed to spread the remaining in the ocean.)
The last one was the one that got me started on this list.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Concert
Saw Jennifer Knapp tonight in Hollywood. It was once again an intimate, acoustic set that highlighted her raspy, yet vulnerable voice. She looks very much the same. The set wasn't nearly long enough.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Surprise
Today I got a text message from my old friend Anna whom I haven't spoken to (really) in about 2 years. There have been a couple of times when we have shared a brief conversation about my hair or an email about a job for my mom, but our friendship has never been the same. Ever since Monike told her that she was pregnant at my house and she basically attacked her. I had to fight her off and threaten to call the police. It was emotionally and physically exhausting and we were never really friends after that. She stopped going to church and we just basically stopped talking. Monike's baby (Ellena) just turned two.
Well, I guess Monike told her about my car accident on Saturday morning. So she texted me today to ask how my ankle was. (No broken bones, just a sprain, bruises and soreness.) I texted her back to say that I was ok, wearing a brace and it was getting better, but that my car may be totaled. A few minutes later, she called to ask me what happened. It wasn't my fault, the girl turned into me. I trust that the Lord works everything together for me. I still owe on the car so there's that. Strangely, just the night before the accident I was telling two friends from church that I thought I needed a new car since mine was acting up with the high idle that I just had repaired. And then the next day, someone crashes into me. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
I was on my way (headed east) to pick up my grandparents for prayer when a Hundai pulled out (on my right headed west) and was headed right for me. I tried swerving to the left side but there were two parked cars. I honked and put in the brakes but could only brace myself. Both of my airbags deployed and I was then slowing rolling over to the left hand side of the street to get out of the middle of it, but there was a trash bin on the left as well. The smell of the airbags smoke was terrible. I immediately looked for my purse and phone and called my mom. I told her I was in an accident and asked if she and Chris could come. I had already jumped out of the car limping becuase of a sore ankle. Then I called my cousin Marissa to tell her that I wasn't gonna be able to pick up grandma and grandpa for church because of the accident. She asked where I was and said she'd be right there. I was hobbling towards the sidewalk and shaking. Then a young girl came up and asked me If I was alright. I told her yes. Then one of the neighbors came out and brought over a chair for me to sit on. The driver of the other car (an older girl) asked me if I was alright and I told her yes and asked if they were ok. She said they were. Their car was on the other side of the street (headed east). The neighbor got me to sit down and then she gave me some bread to help me stop shaking and calm me down. The police showed up and began asking me questions. Then my mom and Chris got there. Then a minute or two later, Marissa and her whole family got there. My ankle was throbbing. I wans' table to find my registration or insurance which is the strangest thing because I just put my updated auto insurance in the case and put it back into the glove box. My hood buckled, windshield cracked and bumper looked to be hanging off. I didn't really get to see it before it got towed away since people kept telling me to sit down--I think I may have been in shock. I had my seat belt on, I wasn't on my cell phone and I wasn't going any faster than about 30. All I can do is praise the Lord that I wasn't seriously hurt. Strangely...my rental car is the exact same, make, model and color car of the one that ran into me. Hopefully, their insurance will pay for my trip to the ER ($50) and the vicodin prescribed ($10) and the cost of having my car towed to my friend's husband's shop ($165). But I'm praying that even my car expense is taken care of since I still have a balance. I've been thinking about getting a newer car for some time now.
God knows. I know this.
And as far as my friendship with Anna goes, He knows how that will turn out too. All I can do is pray and try to be obedient.
The morning just before the accident, I read my devotional and it was taken from Exodus 3:7 Surely I have seen the affliction of My people...and have given heed to their cry. Sometimes after the accident I thought of this...He hears our cry BEFORE we even ask. He is amazing. And His words come just in time. So I hold onto that promise.
Well, I guess Monike told her about my car accident on Saturday morning. So she texted me today to ask how my ankle was. (No broken bones, just a sprain, bruises and soreness.) I texted her back to say that I was ok, wearing a brace and it was getting better, but that my car may be totaled. A few minutes later, she called to ask me what happened. It wasn't my fault, the girl turned into me. I trust that the Lord works everything together for me. I still owe on the car so there's that. Strangely, just the night before the accident I was telling two friends from church that I thought I needed a new car since mine was acting up with the high idle that I just had repaired. And then the next day, someone crashes into me. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
I was on my way (headed east) to pick up my grandparents for prayer when a Hundai pulled out (on my right headed west) and was headed right for me. I tried swerving to the left side but there were two parked cars. I honked and put in the brakes but could only brace myself. Both of my airbags deployed and I was then slowing rolling over to the left hand side of the street to get out of the middle of it, but there was a trash bin on the left as well. The smell of the airbags smoke was terrible. I immediately looked for my purse and phone and called my mom. I told her I was in an accident and asked if she and Chris could come. I had already jumped out of the car limping becuase of a sore ankle. Then I called my cousin Marissa to tell her that I wasn't gonna be able to pick up grandma and grandpa for church because of the accident. She asked where I was and said she'd be right there. I was hobbling towards the sidewalk and shaking. Then a young girl came up and asked me If I was alright. I told her yes. Then one of the neighbors came out and brought over a chair for me to sit on. The driver of the other car (an older girl) asked me if I was alright and I told her yes and asked if they were ok. She said they were. Their car was on the other side of the street (headed east). The neighbor got me to sit down and then she gave me some bread to help me stop shaking and calm me down. The police showed up and began asking me questions. Then my mom and Chris got there. Then a minute or two later, Marissa and her whole family got there. My ankle was throbbing. I wans' table to find my registration or insurance which is the strangest thing because I just put my updated auto insurance in the case and put it back into the glove box. My hood buckled, windshield cracked and bumper looked to be hanging off. I didn't really get to see it before it got towed away since people kept telling me to sit down--I think I may have been in shock. I had my seat belt on, I wasn't on my cell phone and I wasn't going any faster than about 30. All I can do is praise the Lord that I wasn't seriously hurt. Strangely...my rental car is the exact same, make, model and color car of the one that ran into me. Hopefully, their insurance will pay for my trip to the ER ($50) and the vicodin prescribed ($10) and the cost of having my car towed to my friend's husband's shop ($165). But I'm praying that even my car expense is taken care of since I still have a balance. I've been thinking about getting a newer car for some time now.
God knows. I know this.
And as far as my friendship with Anna goes, He knows how that will turn out too. All I can do is pray and try to be obedient.
The morning just before the accident, I read my devotional and it was taken from Exodus 3:7 Surely I have seen the affliction of My people...and have given heed to their cry. Sometimes after the accident I thought of this...He hears our cry BEFORE we even ask. He is amazing. And His words come just in time. So I hold onto that promise.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Knowledge
"God's going to open up a greater depth of word of knowledge for you." The woman sitting in the pew behind me in church today, spoke those words to me(and more after service).
And that wasn't even the best part of the service.
And that wasn't even the best part of the service.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
4 am
Woke up with a burden to pray...what do I pray for? Specifially, it was a friend(s). In some situations (most), I feel helpless and the only thing I can really do is leave it up to God. So I did. However, I am still burdened and I wonder if this really is my burden to carry. I doubt it. In fact I didnt think it was. But when needs are dropped into your lap, it's very difficult not to pick them up. I do belive I have discernment, yet in this situation I do feel at a loss somewhat. And am I called to a fast? I know that fasting is (or should be) a part of every believer's life, however am I called to fst specifically with this in mind? I thought i was, then I blew the fast. And didn't feel the need or urgency to begin another one. Has the burden been lifted from me or have I just turned into a needy glutton with all the added stress going on in my life?
The new job is quite different from my last one--well, the one even before that. I did afterall, work at the El Monte clinic for two whole days. But I'm used to working with children; not adults who demand their medications and who threaten to kill someone if they don't get them. Or talk down to you like you're an idiot because they can't see thier doctor within the same month and so they start yelling at you. Yeah, that has been my week. In the midst of attempting to walk out my humility without feeling like a total failure for having been demoted and working out of boxes with a tiny computer cart and not nearly enough room. Oh and let's not forget the fact that I don't speak Spanish and every other call is a Spanish speaking caller! I don't want to be ungrateful for still having a job, when a few of my friends were layed off, but I'm not sure how long I can do this reception job. This is not what I signed up for. And right now--I don't know if it's because my ego has been bruised--but I don't have joy or contentment. In fact, I've been late three times this week and contemplated calling out for two of those days! And we had a shorter week! When co-workers asked me 'how things were going'...I told them that I didn't want to be like an Israelite who walked around murmuring and complaining and wandering in the desert for forty years. I seriously don't. But for the time being...I find myself in this place where I am burdened and discontent. So...I will get up in about an hour to go join my church family in prayer for the needs of our nation and other church members. I know that I am called to that. Lord, help me. I chose to stay home and go to our Friday night family dinner...I got some routine cleaning done. And now, as I think about it, perhaps the fast isn't about me. Obviously, I know that, but the purpose behind it is to draw me into a more intimate relationship with God. Not so I can in some way earn brownie points or run through a list of prayer needs faster. It is to die to the flesh...something I am not doing well since I am discontent. Maybe fasting is more of a means to help us see where we are not and how far away from God we actually are. And maybe it varies for each believer. Whatever the case, I do want to be closer to the heart of God. I want to see Him for who He is and not just for who I want Him to be. I've got a long way to go.
The new job is quite different from my last one--well, the one even before that. I did afterall, work at the El Monte clinic for two whole days. But I'm used to working with children; not adults who demand their medications and who threaten to kill someone if they don't get them. Or talk down to you like you're an idiot because they can't see thier doctor within the same month and so they start yelling at you. Yeah, that has been my week. In the midst of attempting to walk out my humility without feeling like a total failure for having been demoted and working out of boxes with a tiny computer cart and not nearly enough room. Oh and let's not forget the fact that I don't speak Spanish and every other call is a Spanish speaking caller! I don't want to be ungrateful for still having a job, when a few of my friends were layed off, but I'm not sure how long I can do this reception job. This is not what I signed up for. And right now--I don't know if it's because my ego has been bruised--but I don't have joy or contentment. In fact, I've been late three times this week and contemplated calling out for two of those days! And we had a shorter week! When co-workers asked me 'how things were going'...I told them that I didn't want to be like an Israelite who walked around murmuring and complaining and wandering in the desert for forty years. I seriously don't. But for the time being...I find myself in this place where I am burdened and discontent. So...I will get up in about an hour to go join my church family in prayer for the needs of our nation and other church members. I know that I am called to that. Lord, help me. I chose to stay home and go to our Friday night family dinner...I got some routine cleaning done. And now, as I think about it, perhaps the fast isn't about me. Obviously, I know that, but the purpose behind it is to draw me into a more intimate relationship with God. Not so I can in some way earn brownie points or run through a list of prayer needs faster. It is to die to the flesh...something I am not doing well since I am discontent. Maybe fasting is more of a means to help us see where we are not and how far away from God we actually are. And maybe it varies for each believer. Whatever the case, I do want to be closer to the heart of God. I want to see Him for who He is and not just for who I want Him to be. I've got a long way to go.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Emotional
Okay so today was better at the El Monte site than on Tuesday. I actually had somewhat normal and friendly interactions with co-workers (there was even laughter). The two girls who I work directly with weren't surfing the web or updating their facebook--phones were still vibrating off and on all day though.
I took my box of office supplies and nick knacks with me today and once again, I spent most of my day organizing and putting things away. My new supervisor came in and apologized to me for not showing me how to use the phones on Tuesday. However, the "girl who knows everything" still didn't show me anything really. I had to ask her. And when she wasn't available, I had to ask the other girl who honestly didn't know much more than I did. It felt like a dead end.
I had lunch in our staff lounge by myself while skimming through Entertainment Weekly and attempting to answer questions on Trivial Pursuit, hosted by none other than Peter Brady. If I had been on the show, I would have won enough to pay off my debt. LOL
After lunch, I went back to my chair and my new supervisor asked if she could see me in her office. I wasn't worried since we hadn't talked about my schedule and supervision or upcoming trainings in order to ensure that I am certified in other departments. I went into her office and she said, "Did they tell you already? Erika and Yoli..." "Do you know...you know, right?" And when my look of uncertainty gave it away, she said, "You don't know? Well, I'll just wait until they tell you..." Now my anxiety was high and several things were rushing through my head, Am I being fired? Did they decide to decrease my pay more? Then she said, "I'm surprised they didn't call you yet. Maybe later...Well, I'll tell you. Just don't tell them I told you. They want to keep you."
"How?"
"Someone resigned."
"Who?"
"I'm not sure. They can tell you."
"Whoa, you scared me."
"Oh no, no, no, sorry, sorry. They want to keep you. They will probably tell you tomorrow. So act surprised."
"But I just moved all my stuff and filled all my drawers."
"I know."
Inside, I was excited. (I waited until all the girls in the front left and then I unpacked my drawers/desk and put everything back into the box.)
I agreed. I was already planning on buying a couple dozen "farewell donuts" and writing a heartfelt note to my "Covina Family". Now I shall have to continue with those plans even though I know. However, my new sup did mention that if things didn't work out and I remained at El Monte.... but it's too late. I was already...home. And I remembered a conversation with another supervisor at the Covina site (who covered at the EM site for months) yesterday about how much I disliked the El Monte site. He told me that someone had resigned from the La Puete site along with, "but you didn't hear it from me." And either late last night or early this morning, this thought came to me: Wow...church is just one straight shot from the La Puente site.
Why was that my thought? I don't know but I guess my heart was set on that subconsciously. On my way home, there was traffic and lots of it. So I tried to call a few people (not affiliated with work) to vent and let them know my situation and nobody answered. I was frustrated and overwhelmed by all of the instability of my life and just wanted to share what was on my heart with someone who would listen. I was emotional and cried some of the way home. I was so stressed and had a hamburger, chili cheese fries and an oreo shake. Not the best choice for dinner...but it was my way of coping with this emotional rollercoaster that is my job.
I shared my heart with God...He already knows what's in it anyway.
I took my box of office supplies and nick knacks with me today and once again, I spent most of my day organizing and putting things away. My new supervisor came in and apologized to me for not showing me how to use the phones on Tuesday. However, the "girl who knows everything" still didn't show me anything really. I had to ask her. And when she wasn't available, I had to ask the other girl who honestly didn't know much more than I did. It felt like a dead end.
I had lunch in our staff lounge by myself while skimming through Entertainment Weekly and attempting to answer questions on Trivial Pursuit, hosted by none other than Peter Brady. If I had been on the show, I would have won enough to pay off my debt. LOL
After lunch, I went back to my chair and my new supervisor asked if she could see me in her office. I wasn't worried since we hadn't talked about my schedule and supervision or upcoming trainings in order to ensure that I am certified in other departments. I went into her office and she said, "Did they tell you already? Erika and Yoli..." "Do you know...you know, right?" And when my look of uncertainty gave it away, she said, "You don't know? Well, I'll just wait until they tell you..." Now my anxiety was high and several things were rushing through my head, Am I being fired? Did they decide to decrease my pay more? Then she said, "I'm surprised they didn't call you yet. Maybe later...Well, I'll tell you. Just don't tell them I told you. They want to keep you."
"How?"
"Someone resigned."
"Who?"
"I'm not sure. They can tell you."
"Whoa, you scared me."
"Oh no, no, no, sorry, sorry. They want to keep you. They will probably tell you tomorrow. So act surprised."
"But I just moved all my stuff and filled all my drawers."
"I know."
Inside, I was excited. (I waited until all the girls in the front left and then I unpacked my drawers/desk and put everything back into the box.)
I agreed. I was already planning on buying a couple dozen "farewell donuts" and writing a heartfelt note to my "Covina Family". Now I shall have to continue with those plans even though I know. However, my new sup did mention that if things didn't work out and I remained at El Monte.... but it's too late. I was already...home. And I remembered a conversation with another supervisor at the Covina site (who covered at the EM site for months) yesterday about how much I disliked the El Monte site. He told me that someone had resigned from the La Puete site along with, "but you didn't hear it from me." And either late last night or early this morning, this thought came to me: Wow...church is just one straight shot from the La Puente site.
Why was that my thought? I don't know but I guess my heart was set on that subconsciously. On my way home, there was traffic and lots of it. So I tried to call a few people (not affiliated with work) to vent and let them know my situation and nobody answered. I was frustrated and overwhelmed by all of the instability of my life and just wanted to share what was on my heart with someone who would listen. I was emotional and cried some of the way home. I was so stressed and had a hamburger, chili cheese fries and an oreo shake. Not the best choice for dinner...but it was my way of coping with this emotional rollercoaster that is my job.
I shared my heart with God...He already knows what's in it anyway.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
today
here's an excerpt from an email to a friend...
"...anyway, i wasn't able to reply this morning because i had to leave earlier since the new site is in El Monte. But thanks for the encouragement. I appreciated it. Even though today was not such a terrific day. I had basically no training on new phones and procedures that they obviously do very differently from covina. the girl who "did everything" according to my new supervisor was too busy updating her facebook to train me and the other girl who actually talked to me knew almost less than I did. so i flubbed the phone paging/transferring, was given an out of date roster, didn't take any breaks and got stuck at the window front and center where every client walked up to. oh and lets not mention, that the one who did everything took a 2 hour meeting with my new supervisor. then left early. and my supervisor showed me around and then the next time I saw her was when she was walking out...wishing me a happy first day and thanking me for helping to cover. thursday i go in at 10:30 to 7--crap hours. i am now the low man on the totem pole so to speak and quite frankly, it sucks. but enough about my ungrateful rant--i should be thanking the Lord that I even have a job and i ain't shoveling horse poo or something. and not like my friend whose last day at enki is this friday. then she is jobless."
I know there are many grammatical mistakes and all i did was copy/paste, but i think i am actually getting tired. blah.
"...anyway, i wasn't able to reply this morning because i had to leave earlier since the new site is in El Monte. But thanks for the encouragement. I appreciated it. Even though today was not such a terrific day. I had basically no training on new phones and procedures that they obviously do very differently from covina. the girl who "did everything" according to my new supervisor was too busy updating her facebook to train me and the other girl who actually talked to me knew almost less than I did. so i flubbed the phone paging/transferring, was given an out of date roster, didn't take any breaks and got stuck at the window front and center where every client walked up to. oh and lets not mention, that the one who did everything took a 2 hour meeting with my new supervisor. then left early. and my supervisor showed me around and then the next time I saw her was when she was walking out...wishing me a happy first day and thanking me for helping to cover. thursday i go in at 10:30 to 7--crap hours. i am now the low man on the totem pole so to speak and quite frankly, it sucks. but enough about my ungrateful rant--i should be thanking the Lord that I even have a job and i ain't shoveling horse poo or something. and not like my friend whose last day at enki is this friday. then she is jobless."
I know there are many grammatical mistakes and all i did was copy/paste, but i think i am actually getting tired. blah.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
anxious...?
My Facebook status states that I am anxious about starting at a new site. But I've been bugged about it and obviously other things since I haven't been able to sleep for the past three nights. And here it is, almost 1 am and I am wide awake. It was such a good...emotional, yet somewhat productive and triumphant day. But it didn't really end well. I think I need to journal more. Today at the same time I felt that I had accomplished something, I felt hugely inadequate. I finally approached the homeless man who hangs out in downtown Covina as I have been prompted to for several months. He didn't speak one word; only nodded and shook his head. I didn't get his name...only that he couldn't speak English, never asked Jesus to be his Savior and didn't even know who Jesus was. I gave him a small book outlining salvation, though I figure if her can't speak, he probably can't read. And I gave him some money for breakfast. With every hopeful question I asked, his response was the same--a shaking of his head, "no". Except one. I asked him if I could pray for him. He finally nodded yes. And so I did. And I promised that I would continue praying for him, not even knowng his name. I walked away, not knowing whatelse I could possibly do for him, yet wanting to do something more. I had no shower to offer this man. I had no clean clothes (though I've heard that people give him clothes and he chooses to wear the same ones he has). I went back to my car and as I started it, I began to cry. I had done what was asked of me so many times before. Finally. Yet somehow the feeling of accomplishment paled in comparison to the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy and insignifigance. This man didn't need me to "rescue" him. He needed Jesus to. And I didn't really know how to offer that to him. The only thing I could say was, "Jesucristo es El Senor." I looked this man in the eyes and could see the emptiness. I've seen hurt and rejection. I've seen grief and frustration. I've even seen anger and rage. But I don't think I've ever seen that kind of emptiness before. At that moment, as I slowly drove along Citrus Avenue, I was overcome with emotion. Overwhelmed by his need and I felt so small compared to it. I prayed God would intervene, somehow. All I could do once I got to work, was sit in the parking lot and wait for my tears to subside.
I was emotional all day. It's difficult saying goodbye to those who have been in your life for years. My heart longs to remain with them...the hurt is caused from having to peel it away from the hearts it has bonded to.
I was emotional all day. It's difficult saying goodbye to those who have been in your life for years. My heart longs to remain with them...the hurt is caused from having to peel it away from the hearts it has bonded to.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Nothing But Me
I found this in my documents and I'm not sure when I wrote it...probably within the last 2 or 3 years. Usually I date everything I write.
Nothing But Me
Only a shadow remains
Of the memories of us you took away
And the parts of me I hid from all else
I could regret that I ever let you glimpse
And I could pretend that none of it mattered
But there‘s always been more to me than met the eye
And I have never lied to you before
Part of me wants to throw my head back
And say I’m unaffected and all is well
But if you look a little closer
You’ll see the lines that tell the story of my misfortune
The years of heartache I’ve yet to overcome
Not because I still desire you
But because I opened up too much of myself
And because I refuse not to love
I’ve gone someplace deep within my mind
A far off place that has kept me close to you
Holding memories that not even you could take away
Losing myself in the process of holding on
Unable to give
Paralyzed by the pain
A Crippling love
Solitude is my gain
Have you tried shaking me from your head?
Not as easy as it sounds
As hurtful as things were
I still remember every smile
We couldn’t help ourselves
We were both so young
None of which were true
But I loved you
I truly loved you
I’ve got nothing left
Given myself completely away
Nothing left but me
Holding close, fragments of a memory
Of you still so far away
In time this heart will heal
And so too will yours
Maybe if we weren’t somewhere so close
And yet still so far
I’ve got nothing left to give
Already given too much
Nothing left but me
And that’s not nearly enough
To please you
Nothing But Me
Only a shadow remains
Of the memories of us you took away
And the parts of me I hid from all else
I could regret that I ever let you glimpse
And I could pretend that none of it mattered
But there‘s always been more to me than met the eye
And I have never lied to you before
Part of me wants to throw my head back
And say I’m unaffected and all is well
But if you look a little closer
You’ll see the lines that tell the story of my misfortune
The years of heartache I’ve yet to overcome
Not because I still desire you
But because I opened up too much of myself
And because I refuse not to love
I’ve gone someplace deep within my mind
A far off place that has kept me close to you
Holding memories that not even you could take away
Losing myself in the process of holding on
Unable to give
Paralyzed by the pain
A Crippling love
Solitude is my gain
Have you tried shaking me from your head?
Not as easy as it sounds
As hurtful as things were
I still remember every smile
We couldn’t help ourselves
We were both so young
None of which were true
But I loved you
I truly loved you
I’ve got nothing left
Given myself completely away
Nothing left but me
Holding close, fragments of a memory
Of you still so far away
In time this heart will heal
And so too will yours
Maybe if we weren’t somewhere so close
And yet still so far
I’ve got nothing left to give
Already given too much
Nothing left but me
And that’s not nearly enough
To please you
Sunday, August 23, 2009
In the Midst of A Migraine
I'm sitting here trying to decide whether or not to just get up and go wash my car and run the errands I need to or to simply take 2 more Advil and fall back into bed. I've been laying here since after church and lunch, not sleeping but trying to get rid of this headache. I don't want to waste the end of my vacation/weekend, though it has been busy.
Here's a rundown of the past two weeks:
I went to see 500 Days of Summer which wasn't as good as people are saying. Good soundtrack though. And the lead male is cute. And 12.
I went to Redondo Beach and had a great time. It was so relaxing and I was able to let go of the stress of work. I did get into the water, but mostly relaxed with my mp3.
I went to Knotts Berry Farm and lost my voice from screaming on the rides. I got on silver bullet and pny express. Bother were great. And I saw Shaq there with his kid in Camp Snoopy. He said hi and smiled at me. I took a pic of him (actually his head) while he was sitting and waiting for his kid to get off a ride, but didn't have the heart to take another one while he was walking by me and holding his kid. It felt so invasive that all I could do was say hi. Thats when he smiled and said hi.
I went for a mile hike up in the canyon which was fun. It brought back so many memories of my dad and the times he took me up there as a child. He was still my daddy then. I miss fishing. I miss him! It only made me want to go camping and fishing.
I fell down the stairs at work earlier in the week and my butt was a bit sore from the rides at knotts and the hike. And I was really bummed that I didn't make my last potluck with my unit because I thought I was going to the Holocaust Museum (which is only open from 11-2). Even though I am not close friends with all of them and the ones I am close to I will no doubt spend time with again...I feel as though I missed out and that made me sad that I missed it.
We had a weenie roast last Saturday...which I had a veggie patty at because I've been fasting meat and sweets. And no smores for me either, but I don't like them anyway.
Yesterday, we had our second annual family reunion and it was a long day. In a few months, we'll be preparing for next year's.
The next big event is probably the Walk for Life at Azusa Pacific.
Tomorrow I go back to work...I am looking forward to it since I only have 3 more days at the Covina site. On Tuesday and Thursday, I will go work at the El Monte site. Friday is everyone's last day at Covina. I imagine it will be emotional.
I dare not get in too deep here since my head is hurting. But there is so much.
Here's a rundown of the past two weeks:
I went to see 500 Days of Summer which wasn't as good as people are saying. Good soundtrack though. And the lead male is cute. And 12.
I went to Redondo Beach and had a great time. It was so relaxing and I was able to let go of the stress of work. I did get into the water, but mostly relaxed with my mp3.
I went to Knotts Berry Farm and lost my voice from screaming on the rides. I got on silver bullet and pny express. Bother were great. And I saw Shaq there with his kid in Camp Snoopy. He said hi and smiled at me. I took a pic of him (actually his head) while he was sitting and waiting for his kid to get off a ride, but didn't have the heart to take another one while he was walking by me and holding his kid. It felt so invasive that all I could do was say hi. Thats when he smiled and said hi.
I went for a mile hike up in the canyon which was fun. It brought back so many memories of my dad and the times he took me up there as a child. He was still my daddy then. I miss fishing. I miss him! It only made me want to go camping and fishing.
I fell down the stairs at work earlier in the week and my butt was a bit sore from the rides at knotts and the hike. And I was really bummed that I didn't make my last potluck with my unit because I thought I was going to the Holocaust Museum (which is only open from 11-2). Even though I am not close friends with all of them and the ones I am close to I will no doubt spend time with again...I feel as though I missed out and that made me sad that I missed it.
We had a weenie roast last Saturday...which I had a veggie patty at because I've been fasting meat and sweets. And no smores for me either, but I don't like them anyway.
Yesterday, we had our second annual family reunion and it was a long day. In a few months, we'll be preparing for next year's.
The next big event is probably the Walk for Life at Azusa Pacific.
Tomorrow I go back to work...I am looking forward to it since I only have 3 more days at the Covina site. On Tuesday and Thursday, I will go work at the El Monte site. Friday is everyone's last day at Covina. I imagine it will be emotional.
I dare not get in too deep here since my head is hurting. But there is so much.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
On The Spot
Today in church pastor called me up to be used of the Lord and allow the Holy Spirit to move/speak through me. I was so...full and just overwhelmed by the presence of God and emotions. I felt the Lord and was myself moved, but as I walked up to the platform, I had no idea what to say. I prayed in tongues (yes, I believe in that.) as I took the mic and pastor spoke of how the Lord had used me before. Then I began to speak. It was brief and I didn't get through it before breaking down somewhat. And I can't remember word for word what I said. I do remember that the presence of God was so strong that I nearly fell on my way back to my seat. I haven't felt the Lord that strong in a long time. Somehow, I feel that I was supposed to say more. How do you ask if you prophesied correctly? Or accurately? And just the night before, I told my cousin that I was doing a fast because I wanted God to move through me. And He didn't disappoint. (Even if I may have.) Here's a humorous thing, after the service my cousin said, "good speech." My cousin and I just shook our heads and laughed.
Even if it wasn't the best...people stated that I made them cry. Not sure if that's good or bad but at least it made people think, right? And all I kept thinking before I was called up was that, this is the place where I feel most comfortable. (In the Lord's presence, that is.) I felt comfortable to praise, pray,raise my hands, cry, etc. And it was like it was just me and Him. I am so thankful for my redemption.
Even if it wasn't the best...people stated that I made them cry. Not sure if that's good or bad but at least it made people think, right? And all I kept thinking before I was called up was that, this is the place where I feel most comfortable. (In the Lord's presence, that is.) I felt comfortable to praise, pray,raise my hands, cry, etc. And it was like it was just me and Him. I am so thankful for my redemption.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Julie & Julia
Today I went to the movies alone. It. Was. Ok. And I had a good time with me. I think I might do that more often. For years, a friend of mine has gone to the movies by himself and I never really understood why anyone would want to go to the movie theater alone. It's not such a bad thing. And I wasn't the only one there who went alone. Who knows, maybe I'll try going to a restaurant alone next. :-)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Contact
Hey, now that Sarah Palin has stepped down as the Governor of Alaska...how do I contact her, where do I send her an email???
Tomorrow, the company will give out letters to us letting us know who will have a job beyond August 28th. They are closing an entire clinic due to the cutbacks, which means 40 or so jobs unable to be absorbed. There is much prayer and fasting going on. I was even asked to lead in a prayer at our unit meeting last Friday (monumental for a place where you can't say, "Merry Christmas" or "God bless you." I prayed in the name of Jesus.)
I'll share about my fun-filled weekend later. I just had this question screaming out inside of me.
Tomorrow, the company will give out letters to us letting us know who will have a job beyond August 28th. They are closing an entire clinic due to the cutbacks, which means 40 or so jobs unable to be absorbed. There is much prayer and fasting going on. I was even asked to lead in a prayer at our unit meeting last Friday (monumental for a place where you can't say, "Merry Christmas" or "God bless you." I prayed in the name of Jesus.)
I'll share about my fun-filled weekend later. I just had this question screaming out inside of me.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Never Again A Time Like This
There were more tears and questions today as Carl (the VP) came out--initally to hand out year of service awards--yet ended up fielding question after question regardingn the process of this move and what that entails for Covina staff. He seemed somewhat more upbeat than our clinic manager when detailing the effects of the cutbacks, stating that, the children's sites would not be affected as much as the adults." That is until a friend of mine asked how that would affect administrative staff. Then the mood turned a bit more grim. 25 clinical staff and 20 administrative to lose their jobs. Unless the job sharing program works...then some positions woold be saved. A majority of staff would prefer to cut thier own hours if it meant that some jobs could be salvaged. How that works is that an employee would work 32 hours and collect unemployment for the remaining 8, all the while retaining their insurance benefits. He went over plans in the works...and there are many plans they are attempting to work out. Carl did say that this is the most difficult thing to have to do. And that it's not easy having to let good people go. There were tears. Later that day, a clinical friend of mine was sitting in our department and we were laughing and joking with each other in spite of our (perhaps premature) feeling of loss. I said, "You know, it's good we can laugh because there may never be another time like this with each one of us here in this place."
None of us will know who gets to move on to eithe rthe El Monte site of the La Puente site and who is being let go until July 31st when each of us will receive a letter. After that, we work (all of us) until August 28th. Some of us will pack up our boxes and go on to work with both current co-workers and new co-workers already at the La Puente site--or the El Monte site. And some of us will just be packing our boxes and going home. Either way...we will all be hugely impacted by this.
Goodbyes are never easy for me. And sometimes take me years to 'get over'.
I pray for the peace of all involved--from the top to the bottom.
None of us will know who gets to move on to eithe rthe El Monte site of the La Puente site and who is being let go until July 31st when each of us will receive a letter. After that, we work (all of us) until August 28th. Some of us will pack up our boxes and go on to work with both current co-workers and new co-workers already at the La Puente site--or the El Monte site. And some of us will just be packing our boxes and going home. Either way...we will all be hugely impacted by this.
Goodbyes are never easy for me. And sometimes take me years to 'get over'.
I pray for the peace of all involved--from the top to the bottom.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Beauty Does Fade
What a beautiful way to begin a new week and end a 3 day weekend--at a faraway beach, that is. I didn't want to spend the day at a beach I've frequented before, one that would stir up negative energy or cause some melancholy funk. The idea was to spend a relaxing day with only specific people from my family (mainly, baby Bev and Day) so that I could see them swim in the "waveless" part of the ocean. And for the most part, it was relaxing...the day began overcast as is usual for beach cities. But of course it burned off and the sun came out, the wind blew a bit and cooled the summer day. It was a much needed break from all of the media coverage of recent celebrity deaths and the mundane occurrences at the place I call work. (Yes, it's true, in my newly demoted position, I am bored. Even though I am learning new things and working towards certification.) I walked along the beach with the baby...showing her shells and rocks along the way..kicking up water as it slowly rolled to shore. It was the best day I have had in months and months. (La Dia Bonita.)
When I arrived at work this morning I heard from the girls that our Day Treatment program was being cut. I also saw on the news that the proposed budget was released and millions and billions of dollars have been cut for the funding that we bill to as a mental health clinic. (Not a good beginning to my work week.) Then, the clinic manager called a mandatory meeting at 10:30 that morning. Another not so good sign. Our clinic manager proceeded to tell us that de to the county cutbacks, we would be closing one site and basically combining our clinic with theres--in terms of staff. What it means for us is we will be moving into another clinic in La Puente, but not all of us will be able to go. Some of us will just have to go. Am I worried that I will be one of the ones to lose my job? Not really worried. I am trusting in God's provision for my life. It is difficult when all I see is crying and negative around me. Do I feel helpless and out of control? Yes. Is that how I am supposed to feel? Probably. It's not my job to fix things and work all things out. Do I know what I will do or where I will go if I lose my job? No. But I know that if I need to flip hamburgers for a while before God moves me to my new career, then I will. I don't have fear. Do I like this situation I find myself in? (The whole being almost 40 without a home, demoted to receptionist, without a significant other to come home to at night--I am both Bridget Jones and Ugly Betty!) Not at all. Nevertheless, I am to be content in ALL things. And I got a word from the Lord...a position is being created for me. And God is working on my behalf. So I'm gonna hold onto that because I don't have anything else at this point--and there are some who don't even have that. And I find no comfort in any other voice. So I will listen for that still small one.
One thing I am learning from all of these trials and the humbling experiences of every day life at ENKI (and life in general) is that we must choose what side of the fence we are going to be. I believe there is a great shaking going on in order to awaken the church/people. i think there is a line being drawn in the sand and the Lord is saying, "Which side are you on? You must decide."
This is not a time for straddling.
Writing is good. It helps. I need to make time to do it more often. It's cathartic. And since i refuse to go to a shrink again...this works out.
When I arrived at work this morning I heard from the girls that our Day Treatment program was being cut. I also saw on the news that the proposed budget was released and millions and billions of dollars have been cut for the funding that we bill to as a mental health clinic. (Not a good beginning to my work week.) Then, the clinic manager called a mandatory meeting at 10:30 that morning. Another not so good sign. Our clinic manager proceeded to tell us that de to the county cutbacks, we would be closing one site and basically combining our clinic with theres--in terms of staff. What it means for us is we will be moving into another clinic in La Puente, but not all of us will be able to go. Some of us will just have to go. Am I worried that I will be one of the ones to lose my job? Not really worried. I am trusting in God's provision for my life. It is difficult when all I see is crying and negative around me. Do I feel helpless and out of control? Yes. Is that how I am supposed to feel? Probably. It's not my job to fix things and work all things out. Do I know what I will do or where I will go if I lose my job? No. But I know that if I need to flip hamburgers for a while before God moves me to my new career, then I will. I don't have fear. Do I like this situation I find myself in? (The whole being almost 40 without a home, demoted to receptionist, without a significant other to come home to at night--I am both Bridget Jones and Ugly Betty!) Not at all. Nevertheless, I am to be content in ALL things. And I got a word from the Lord...a position is being created for me. And God is working on my behalf. So I'm gonna hold onto that because I don't have anything else at this point--and there are some who don't even have that. And I find no comfort in any other voice. So I will listen for that still small one.
One thing I am learning from all of these trials and the humbling experiences of every day life at ENKI (and life in general) is that we must choose what side of the fence we are going to be. I believe there is a great shaking going on in order to awaken the church/people. i think there is a line being drawn in the sand and the Lord is saying, "Which side are you on? You must decide."
This is not a time for straddling.
Writing is good. It helps. I need to make time to do it more often. It's cathartic. And since i refuse to go to a shrink again...this works out.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
A Busy Day Off...?
Dinner plans were for Johnny Carino's at 6:30 with some current co-workers and some previous. Although I was tired from the day's busyness of sanding walls, applying primer to them, painting them and attempting to keep my cousin's 18 month old daughter from getting her hands into the paint and making a mess, I was eager to see the above mentioned previous coworkers. Dinner chat was normal...who was irritating at ENKI and who has since left, what's new in everyone's life, etc. (Amy is now with child, Erika's ex-fiance is crazy and therefore in rehab, and so on and so forth.) I felt a bit out of place when my friend asked another friend if she was daitng anyone. It was almost a bit of nervousness since my answer would have been "no," as it always is and the fear of sounding utterly pathetic slowly crept into my mind. Then, alas (thank God), somebody changed the subject. It was probably Maria since she's a little ADHD. Then a few minutes passed when I enthusiastically cheered, "Oh my grandpa was healed of cancer!" As if someone had asked me what was new. (They did. It was just minutes prior. And the subject had already been changed as I said before.) I guess the fear of sounding 'utterly pathetic' got into me. And now, I was only feeling like a total doof for my timing. But in looking back on it, why wouldn't I rave about what God has done in my life and in the life of my family? I may not have a man in my life, but I have the MAN. And why should that be pathetic? Because I am about to turn 40 in a few short months? As one of my friend's stated, "Age is just a number." And it shouldn't dictate my actions, reactions or limit my abilities. It shouldn't but I fight with allowing it to. (Still, the flesh side of me does ache at times to have someone in my life; someone to hold me in their arms and love me and feel secure with. Someone just to be able to come home to and sit with.) But you know, I think I am coming to terms with the fact that I am not working for a house in this life, I'm not looking for security of this world. I wont have a baby. And I wont retire and need a 401k. I wont buy a house. And a life lacking those things to some might be devastating. But I am working towards something else; somethings bigger. I am doing exciting things...every Saturday morning I hear the voice of God and am able to communicate with Him and other believers freely. Of course, that's not the only time I hear from him. But it's an atmosphere that I dare not pass up or sleep in for. I just don't get why more don't join in. It's the most alive that I have ever felt is during those times. And I am faithful because He is faithful. So anyway... during dinner it's almost as if I have nothing to share; that there isn't anything new or exciting going on because I'm not dating anyone. Or I'm not having a baby. So I felt kind of out of place, but in truth, I've got a lot going for me. Things are happening in the spirit--which a lot of people don't understand anyway. We are praying every Saturday morning and things are happening; people are changing. I was a bit discouraged because there are specific friends that I don't see a change in, but everyone has a free will--and some of them are really stubborn and hard-hearted. I wont give up praying for them, but maybe pursuing a friendship is just not God's will. Besides, the word says, you shall know them by their fruits. I know which people are my real friends and really care about me. And those are the ones I will interact with and trust with my pearls. And the others...I will pray until the Lord says to relinquish. So I can't really share with anyone about what the Lord is doing...or can I? Should I have? I've noticed I have kept to myself more. You never know who you can trust. Everyone at work knows that I got a demotion. And that I don't like my current position as receptionist/operator. The working relationships are strained and I don't know how long I can keep my mouh shut. I don't know what the Lord is doing with me except that I am being stretched and humbled. All I can do is just continue to trust Him and know that He knows best for me. And I can go to Him and ask for help and He never turns me down. And he never lies. Only with His help with I pay off my debt (loan, timeshare, credit cards, etc.) So this started out as a blog about my day...but I find myself so full of all this stuff going on in my head and heart that I didn't know quite what to do with. Random thoughts like, I've been hearing from several different people at work that they heard great things about my work and how my files in HR were so organized, etc. Part of me wants to say, "Yeah, but they didn't give me the HR position. They chose someone else--the 'best candidate.' And the other part of me graciously says, "Oh that's nice. God has something else for me." The IT Coordinator made a comment about getting me away from the front desk and it had something to do with assisting him...? Like I said, it was random. I'm not even sure how to end this. I've opened up my heart online (not the most secure of places) and now I am left with a tear. The best thing about God is being able to go back to that infantile state of needing to be nurtured and cry out, "Daddy, daddy" and he is right there. *sigh* Still, I miss my daddy. And I do wish he could be right here. Well...I should probably just stop here since I have had a busy day and the feeling of fatigue is finally catching up with me.
My happiest thought today: God healed my grandpa of cancer.
My happiest thought today: God healed my grandpa of cancer.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Manifesting Joel
I sat in near awe and amazement as 9, 10...12 year olds prayed fervently and passionately to God regarding such things as abortion. Some of the beliefs the children expressed were obviously taught by man, but it was the other expressions of faith that both caught me off-guard and inspired me. Some of the statements made, the prayers prayed could only be inspired and birthed by the Lord. They weren't redundant catch phrases and doctrines used by church-going evangelicals; it wasn't merely the spewing of church lingo. It was a sincere faith birthed from an evident encounter and on-going relationship with the Holy Spirit...and a pure heart of obedience that caused those declarations of faith to be spoken. It jump started my faith and increased my desire to see the young people at our church praying those prayers of faith on behalf of our nation, our president and those unborn babies. The documentary is called Jesus Camp and although it was filmed in 2006 and the complexion of America has changed dramatically since then, I believe that, He who began a good work will complete it. And what we were seeing on film in 2006 was only the tip of the iceberg. Afterall, they don't call the church the "frozen chosen" for nothing. (heh.) And if I hadn't already experienced a bit of that with children in my own family, I probably would be somewhat cynical too. But this documentary capturing a glimpse of what God can do with a simple, child-like faith only confirmed a work that was started in me and around me years ago.
In Joel 2:28-29, it says:
And it shall come to pass afterward,
That I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh;
Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
Your old men shall dream dreams,
Your young men shall see visions,
And also on My menservants and on My maidservants,
I will pour out My Spirit in those days...
May I be a part of that.
In Joel 2:28-29, it says:
And it shall come to pass afterward,
That I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh;
Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
Your old men shall dream dreams,
Your young men shall see visions,
And also on My menservants and on My maidservants,
I will pour out My Spirit in those days...
May I be a part of that.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Barf Bag Anyone?
Okay, so I have had a headache since about 5:00 am on Sunday. I thought I would have to leave the 10:00 am service at church to make a quick trip to the bathroom since I was so nauseated. Mal and I left immediately after serice and headed to the nearest Del Taco drive through so I could put something in my stomach (aside from the 2 Tylenol 8 Hour capsules I had taken before church). So I ordered a cheeseburger and began eating it. We hadn't gone more than a mile, before I started to get that feeling again as if I needed to throw up. There wasn't time to pull over since we were on the freeway so I just used the empty bag. Yeah, and paper isn't really very sturdy--or leak proof! When we got home, I tried to clean some of it up, but was so sick that I guess Mal had compassion on me. She courageously cleaned up after me as I went straight to my room to put on some pjs and take meds and get to bed. Eventually, I held down some toast and gatorade. Then ate normal food. I had the headache until today so I called out from work. Actually, I had been waiting for an excuse to call off from work. This week I begin my new schedule...I will close every Friday. It's not as bad as it sounds since I am the one who offered to take the late day on Friday. I don't have senority up in the front anyway.
Saturday just before prayer began Pastor Lucy told me to keep up my good attitude and know that all this training I am going to receive is free training and that promotion is coming. I just have to trust the Lord. And be ready. So we'll see...I just want to be obedient and humble.
So we watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona...I made a comment to my friend about the academy giving actors who play gays and lesbians the awards. I haven't seen Sean Penn's performance in Milk, but as far as Penelope Cruz's character in Vicky, I don't think it was all that outstanding. She wasn't any better than Scarlett Johannsen's portrayal of her character. I don't know...the initial proposal made by the lead male character should have been indicative of the content of the rest of the movie and I should have taken that as clue.....
I just saw a cute little movie called Just Like Heaven with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo (whom I love) and I loved it. It was entertaining and the characters were all likeable.
Anyway, enough of my movie commentary...I need to get to bed before my headache comes back. Oh yeah, I took 2 Sudafeds and it went away. Next time, before swallowing so many 800 mgs of ibuprofens or tylenols, I will try that.
Saturday just before prayer began Pastor Lucy told me to keep up my good attitude and know that all this training I am going to receive is free training and that promotion is coming. I just have to trust the Lord. And be ready. So we'll see...I just want to be obedient and humble.
So we watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona...I made a comment to my friend about the academy giving actors who play gays and lesbians the awards. I haven't seen Sean Penn's performance in Milk, but as far as Penelope Cruz's character in Vicky, I don't think it was all that outstanding. She wasn't any better than Scarlett Johannsen's portrayal of her character. I don't know...the initial proposal made by the lead male character should have been indicative of the content of the rest of the movie and I should have taken that as clue.....
I just saw a cute little movie called Just Like Heaven with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo (whom I love) and I loved it. It was entertaining and the characters were all likeable.
Anyway, enough of my movie commentary...I need to get to bed before my headache comes back. Oh yeah, I took 2 Sudafeds and it went away. Next time, before swallowing so many 800 mgs of ibuprofens or tylenols, I will try that.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Sad Day
I remained in my office today, not having to go up to the front desk, but rather work on an all-day project for my boss with other co-workers (I'm glad I have a huge desk.)
There were moments when I felt somewhat sad: when Suzanne came in and made a "light-hearted" comment about me making less money. I confided in her, not so she could throw it in my face, but because I trusted her. (I guess we have to be careful who we trust...casting pearls before swine?) My other sad moment came when my friend from Corporate called to ask me a question. She asked how I was and I said I was fine and that God is in control. She concurred and then she went on musing as to the reason behind her call. She then blurted out, "Oh, it was Eloysa, not you." (I wanted to say, yes, Eloysa got the position and I didn't. I'm number 2 and she is number 1. While I didn't say that, it was a bit awkward and there was a noticeable silence between us.) She apologized for calling me in error, but I don't think she really meant for the comment to come out the way it did--nor did she realize it had. Then another friend Yvette made a comment, "Man, they're just stripping you of everything" in regards to me not being able to cover the management meeting due to the confidentiality of it. Yeah, I feel as though I'm going backwards.
But God knows. And I trust. He said He knows the plans He has for me and that is to bless me and prosper me. And I choose to believe His word and not what my circumstances show. It's only a matter of time.
And I had another person come into my office to confirm that I am witnessing through my everday life at ENKI and that she believes we are all called there for a reason. I was blessed by her words, just as I was last week by another who said I'd be blessed. Both could see not only that I have a good attitude but that the peace of God is evident. And that's what I want all to see in me; through me. I'm thankful the Lord sent someone to bless my day. It lifted some of the sadness. Who knows what's in store for me tomorrow because I think the paperwork if finally being done regarding my transition out of the HR/FA position. It's back to grunt work now I suppose. Things could always be worse, but I am glad I have the Lord's favor.
I got an email from a friend asking for prayer for her mom who has been diagnosed with kidney cancer and her father in law who may have prostate cancer. God is on the move. Signs and wonders will follow me. I believe it.
There were moments when I felt somewhat sad: when Suzanne came in and made a "light-hearted" comment about me making less money. I confided in her, not so she could throw it in my face, but because I trusted her. (I guess we have to be careful who we trust...casting pearls before swine?) My other sad moment came when my friend from Corporate called to ask me a question. She asked how I was and I said I was fine and that God is in control. She concurred and then she went on musing as to the reason behind her call. She then blurted out, "Oh, it was Eloysa, not you." (I wanted to say, yes, Eloysa got the position and I didn't. I'm number 2 and she is number 1. While I didn't say that, it was a bit awkward and there was a noticeable silence between us.) She apologized for calling me in error, but I don't think she really meant for the comment to come out the way it did--nor did she realize it had. Then another friend Yvette made a comment, "Man, they're just stripping you of everything" in regards to me not being able to cover the management meeting due to the confidentiality of it. Yeah, I feel as though I'm going backwards.
But God knows. And I trust. He said He knows the plans He has for me and that is to bless me and prosper me. And I choose to believe His word and not what my circumstances show. It's only a matter of time.
And I had another person come into my office to confirm that I am witnessing through my everday life at ENKI and that she believes we are all called there for a reason. I was blessed by her words, just as I was last week by another who said I'd be blessed. Both could see not only that I have a good attitude but that the peace of God is evident. And that's what I want all to see in me; through me. I'm thankful the Lord sent someone to bless my day. It lifted some of the sadness. Who knows what's in store for me tomorrow because I think the paperwork if finally being done regarding my transition out of the HR/FA position. It's back to grunt work now I suppose. Things could always be worse, but I am glad I have the Lord's favor.
I got an email from a friend asking for prayer for her mom who has been diagnosed with kidney cancer and her father in law who may have prostate cancer. God is on the move. Signs and wonders will follow me. I believe it.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
New Job?
Yes, it seems that there is a change about to take place in my life and it's about to take another turn. I've been trying to process what all this means, in my head since I got the call from Yoly at Enki Admininstrative Office yesterday. My life, it seems is so full of interruptions and the only quiet time I get is before the throne of God.
So yesterday, sometime around 4:30 she called to thank me for interviewing and went on to say what a srtong candidate I was, but unfortunately it wasn't I who was selected. She said, 'they felt they chose the best candidate for the position.' Um, thanks...? How do I thank someone for, in a round-about-way, saying that I was number two? (Or possibly even number 3?) My boss, as well as the clinic manager couldn't believe I didn't get it. And most of my co-workers seemed shocked that I wasn't given the position. (Some, like Elaine and Jen were almost ecstatic that I didn't get it and would remain at Covina by either exclaiming, 'See, I knew God wouldn't take you away from me.' Or simply by giving me a huge hug.) The news of not being given the position isn't what I was freaked out about. About 20 minutes prior to receiving the call from Yoly yesterday, I asked my boss what would happen if in 6 months, I wasn't able to get certified in the departments. She quietly informed me that I would move down to a level 1 (I'm currently, until Friday, anyway, a level 5)...a demotion. I told my boss I would quit before I went back to a level 1. It's hard not to be disappointed, but evidently that wasn't the job that God wanted for me and He has something else in store. If that means I have to take a pay cut, then, so be it. He promised to supply all my needs. And I do trust Him. I kind of hope the girl from El Monte got it because I heard she was quite devastated when the news of the HR/FA positions at all sites being eliminated came out. I pray the Lord meets her needs too.
So I have a new hire on Friday-my last. So many things will change after Friday...I'll have to take down m beach pictures from the blue wall in my office and put them into storage sinc ei wont be getting my own office, but sharing one with three others. It's similar to the feeling I felt when packing up and leaving my apartment; like saying goodbye to an old friend. (And that is never fun.) I'll have to stay late at least one night and coordinate lunch schedules with the other girls.... Part of me wonders if maybe I didn't get too comfortable where I was and maybe I took for granted all the freedoms I had. I don't know if the Lord wants me to learn thankfulness again or what. Whatever the lesson, may I learn it quickly. And may the Lord continue to use me where I am...obviously He's got something else for me to do there.
So yesterday, sometime around 4:30 she called to thank me for interviewing and went on to say what a srtong candidate I was, but unfortunately it wasn't I who was selected. She said, 'they felt they chose the best candidate for the position.' Um, thanks...? How do I thank someone for, in a round-about-way, saying that I was number two? (Or possibly even number 3?) My boss, as well as the clinic manager couldn't believe I didn't get it. And most of my co-workers seemed shocked that I wasn't given the position. (Some, like Elaine and Jen were almost ecstatic that I didn't get it and would remain at Covina by either exclaiming, 'See, I knew God wouldn't take you away from me.' Or simply by giving me a huge hug.) The news of not being given the position isn't what I was freaked out about. About 20 minutes prior to receiving the call from Yoly yesterday, I asked my boss what would happen if in 6 months, I wasn't able to get certified in the departments. She quietly informed me that I would move down to a level 1 (I'm currently, until Friday, anyway, a level 5)...a demotion. I told my boss I would quit before I went back to a level 1. It's hard not to be disappointed, but evidently that wasn't the job that God wanted for me and He has something else in store. If that means I have to take a pay cut, then, so be it. He promised to supply all my needs. And I do trust Him. I kind of hope the girl from El Monte got it because I heard she was quite devastated when the news of the HR/FA positions at all sites being eliminated came out. I pray the Lord meets her needs too.
So I have a new hire on Friday-my last. So many things will change after Friday...I'll have to take down m beach pictures from the blue wall in my office and put them into storage sinc ei wont be getting my own office, but sharing one with three others. It's similar to the feeling I felt when packing up and leaving my apartment; like saying goodbye to an old friend. (And that is never fun.) I'll have to stay late at least one night and coordinate lunch schedules with the other girls.... Part of me wonders if maybe I didn't get too comfortable where I was and maybe I took for granted all the freedoms I had. I don't know if the Lord wants me to learn thankfulness again or what. Whatever the lesson, may I learn it quickly. And may the Lord continue to use me where I am...obviously He's got something else for me to do there.
Monday, May 4, 2009
BlOcKs
I remember someone saying--was it, Madonna--that we don't speak in complete blocks of thought. And in our fast-paced, rush-hour being multiple hours, instant society (namely, LA), it seems nearly impossible. For instance, on my job there are phone calls, overhead pages, toilets that clog, alarms that go off, line staff and management staff who are all in need of something that I have. And if I don't have it, then it's my job to get it--from someone else who has it (e.g. the money, the answer, the tools to fix it, the authority to approve it, etc.) This is not Wall Street, it's Second Avenue. So it makes total sense why we are unable to speak in complete blocks of thought. Interruptions are inevitable. So here I sit, at my laptop attempting to form multiple blocks of thought completely, without the various distractions. Although what about the current distractions whirling around in my head:
Will I get the HR/FA position at the El Monte Administrative Office? There have been dozens of people who have approached me both at church and at work to ask me how my interview went last Friday and if I've heard anything yet. It seems a bit premature, though Heather did say they would probably let me know early in the week. I don't have an answer about it...I'm not nervous and not worried in the least, I just wonder. I couldn't sleep the night before and I felt the Lord telling me to turn to Psalms 83. So after arguing in my head about how desperately I needed to get to sleep because of the upcoming interview, I got up, opened my bible and turned to Psalms 83. It was a prayer to frustrate conspiracy against Israel. I didn't get it. I didn't understand what it had to do with me and my situation at work. Later on, I questioned the Lord about it, "Why did you have me read Psalms 83?" 'I just wanted to see if you would do it.' I cried. Obviously, it was a test of obedience. I thought about all the times I have argued in my head about getting up early to read only to fall back asleep. Sometimes we just gotta do things because we are told, even if we don't know why we are told. Most people think I have the job, but I am not assuming anything. Regardless of their choice, I have been granted favor. Most would assume that it worked in my favor that Heather (the Vice president of the company and my old boss I worked under for two years) was one of the interviewers.
Will I ever marry? I'm passed the point where I am feeling sorry for myself and the moments of loneliness are not as frequent as they once were. However, I'm not so sure that I'm not being prepared for a life of singlehood. And it's not so frightening anymore. I've experienced and been in engaged in many things and I know that there are worse things than being single. And although I don't have a boyfriend or husband, I don't feel alone. There have been times in the past that I felt so behind everyone else around me.
How can I make Jesus and the truths of the bible more real to my students? Some classes, seem so futile. I can only pray that they are saving some tiny bit of the truth deep in thier hearts for a future day. The trick is overcoming that feeling of being ineffective and il-equipped. I know some of thise kids must hate me--and probably even think I hate them. I refuse to let them come to church and not pay attention. The word of God deserves our respect and attention. I just want to make it come alive to them in such a way that they can see themselves living it. I know I'll be held accountable if I don't.
Will God heal Gloria of cancer for a 6th time? My mom and I ran into her commadre at the Relay For Life cancer walk a few weeks ago. Gloria has hope that God can heal her and she said that she is not going to die from cancer. It's as if she's got an unbreakable spirit. How great would it be to see her healed again from cancer? And through it, all her family is saved. I hate cancer. I pray against it every day.
When will the hearts of my loved ones be stirred? I pray that their gods would fail them. I ask that unholy alliances be broken. I plead, I pull down, I command...my eyes well up, my heat breaks, hands are lifted in surrender. There are things I know I don't have the power to change so I wait on the Lord. My words cannot be empty with such a strong conviction behind them. Sometimes, all I can do is stay away and pray from afar. I don't want to do more harm than good by getting too close again. Waiting makes you seem aloof.
Well, so these were somewhat complete blocks, even if they were edited. I can't reveal EVERYTHING going on in my head. So many these are bits and pices of my complete blocks...
whatever you call it...you now have ideas from my block head.
Will I get the HR/FA position at the El Monte Administrative Office? There have been dozens of people who have approached me both at church and at work to ask me how my interview went last Friday and if I've heard anything yet. It seems a bit premature, though Heather did say they would probably let me know early in the week. I don't have an answer about it...I'm not nervous and not worried in the least, I just wonder. I couldn't sleep the night before and I felt the Lord telling me to turn to Psalms 83. So after arguing in my head about how desperately I needed to get to sleep because of the upcoming interview, I got up, opened my bible and turned to Psalms 83. It was a prayer to frustrate conspiracy against Israel. I didn't get it. I didn't understand what it had to do with me and my situation at work. Later on, I questioned the Lord about it, "Why did you have me read Psalms 83?" 'I just wanted to see if you would do it.' I cried. Obviously, it was a test of obedience. I thought about all the times I have argued in my head about getting up early to read only to fall back asleep. Sometimes we just gotta do things because we are told, even if we don't know why we are told. Most people think I have the job, but I am not assuming anything. Regardless of their choice, I have been granted favor. Most would assume that it worked in my favor that Heather (the Vice president of the company and my old boss I worked under for two years) was one of the interviewers.
Will I ever marry? I'm passed the point where I am feeling sorry for myself and the moments of loneliness are not as frequent as they once were. However, I'm not so sure that I'm not being prepared for a life of singlehood. And it's not so frightening anymore. I've experienced and been in engaged in many things and I know that there are worse things than being single. And although I don't have a boyfriend or husband, I don't feel alone. There have been times in the past that I felt so behind everyone else around me.
How can I make Jesus and the truths of the bible more real to my students? Some classes, seem so futile. I can only pray that they are saving some tiny bit of the truth deep in thier hearts for a future day. The trick is overcoming that feeling of being ineffective and il-equipped. I know some of thise kids must hate me--and probably even think I hate them. I refuse to let them come to church and not pay attention. The word of God deserves our respect and attention. I just want to make it come alive to them in such a way that they can see themselves living it. I know I'll be held accountable if I don't.
Will God heal Gloria of cancer for a 6th time? My mom and I ran into her commadre at the Relay For Life cancer walk a few weeks ago. Gloria has hope that God can heal her and she said that she is not going to die from cancer. It's as if she's got an unbreakable spirit. How great would it be to see her healed again from cancer? And through it, all her family is saved. I hate cancer. I pray against it every day.
When will the hearts of my loved ones be stirred? I pray that their gods would fail them. I ask that unholy alliances be broken. I plead, I pull down, I command...my eyes well up, my heat breaks, hands are lifted in surrender. There are things I know I don't have the power to change so I wait on the Lord. My words cannot be empty with such a strong conviction behind them. Sometimes, all I can do is stay away and pray from afar. I don't want to do more harm than good by getting too close again. Waiting makes you seem aloof.
Well, so these were somewhat complete blocks, even if they were edited. I can't reveal EVERYTHING going on in my head. So many these are bits and pices of my complete blocks...
whatever you call it...you now have ideas from my block head.
Monday, April 27, 2009
More Words En Espanol
22nd
poner, verb
to put
Poner is a basic word for putting something somewhere.
¿Dónde pongo mis cosas?
Where shall I put my things?
No sé dónde poner esta silla.
I don’t know where to put this chair.
You also use poner to talk about putting things on, such as the radio or TV, or food to cook.
¿Pongo música?
Shall I put some music on?
Pon el radiador.
Put the heater on.
Voy a poner las papas.
I’m going to put the potatoes on.
24th
publicidad, noun
advertising; publicity
La publicidad is another of those economical Spanish words which wrap up two English concepts in one. On the one hand it refers to advertising, when it’s often used with the verb hacer.
Se hace buena publicidad en España.
Advertising in Spain is very good.
una agencia de publicidad
an advertising agency
On the other hand it also refers to publicity, when it’s often used with the verb dar, and that phrase translates either as to give publicity to, or to publicize.
Los militantes tratan de dar publicidad a su causa.
The militants are trying to publicize their cause.
25th
punto, noun
point
In an earlier Word of the Day we saw estar a punto de hacer to be about to do.
Es que estoy a punto de salir.
I’m just on my way out.
El punto also has the basic meaning of a point in sports
...Perdieron por tres puntos.
They lost by three points....
and of a point in the abstract sense
:Ése es un punto importante.
That’s an important point.
A very common phrase in this meaning is punto de vista, point of view.
desde mi punto de vista
from my point of view
26th
reacio, adjective
to be reluctant, to be unwilling
Reacio, reluctant, unwilling, is the opposite of dispuesto. You often use it with the preposition a and an infinitive:
Es reacio a aceptar la propuesta.
He’s reluctant to accept the suggestion.
El 40% de los usuarios es reacio a pagar más.
40% of users are unwilling to pay more.
When reacio a is followed by a noun, it can mean to be opposed to or to refuse to accept something.
¿Por qué los hombres son reacios al compromiso?
Why do men resist commitment? OR Why do men refuse to accept commitment?
27th
rebaja, noun
discount; reduction; sale
The meaning of la rebaja changes from singular to plural. In the singular, it refers to a reduction or discount on something you are buying.
Me hizo una rebaja por pagar al contado.
He gave me a discount for paying cash.
The phrase estar de rebaja means that something is reduced.
Las principales marcas de motos están de rebaja.
The major car makes are reduced.
If you’re in a Spanish-speaking country, and you’re looking for a bargain ? una ganga ? look out for the sign REBAJAS REDUCTIONS.
To refer to sales, you use the plural:
las rebajas de enerothe January sales
In order to keep the salary agreed upon between the clinic manager, site administrator and the vice president of operations, I have to learn Spanish to get the bi-lingual supplement, AND discontinue my supplemental insurance. AND train to be signed off in 3 different departments.
That's if I don't get the HR position in El Monte. We'll see. I still don't know what the salary is for the HR position. Ultimately, I trust God with my future.
poner, verb
to put
Poner is a basic word for putting something somewhere.
¿Dónde pongo mis cosas?
Where shall I put my things?
No sé dónde poner esta silla.
I don’t know where to put this chair.
You also use poner to talk about putting things on, such as the radio or TV, or food to cook.
¿Pongo música?
Shall I put some music on?
Pon el radiador.
Put the heater on.
Voy a poner las papas.
I’m going to put the potatoes on.
24th
publicidad, noun
advertising; publicity
La publicidad is another of those economical Spanish words which wrap up two English concepts in one. On the one hand it refers to advertising, when it’s often used with the verb hacer.
Se hace buena publicidad en España.
Advertising in Spain is very good.
una agencia de publicidad
an advertising agency
On the other hand it also refers to publicity, when it’s often used with the verb dar, and that phrase translates either as to give publicity to, or to publicize.
Los militantes tratan de dar publicidad a su causa.
The militants are trying to publicize their cause.
25th
punto, noun
point
In an earlier Word of the Day we saw estar a punto de hacer to be about to do.
Es que estoy a punto de salir.
I’m just on my way out.
El punto also has the basic meaning of a point in sports
...Perdieron por tres puntos.
They lost by three points....
and of a point in the abstract sense
:Ése es un punto importante.
That’s an important point.
A very common phrase in this meaning is punto de vista, point of view.
desde mi punto de vista
from my point of view
26th
reacio, adjective
to be reluctant, to be unwilling
Reacio, reluctant, unwilling, is the opposite of dispuesto. You often use it with the preposition a and an infinitive:
Es reacio a aceptar la propuesta.
He’s reluctant to accept the suggestion.
El 40% de los usuarios es reacio a pagar más.
40% of users are unwilling to pay more.
When reacio a is followed by a noun, it can mean to be opposed to or to refuse to accept something.
¿Por qué los hombres son reacios al compromiso?
Why do men resist commitment? OR Why do men refuse to accept commitment?
27th
rebaja, noun
discount; reduction; sale
The meaning of la rebaja changes from singular to plural. In the singular, it refers to a reduction or discount on something you are buying.
Me hizo una rebaja por pagar al contado.
He gave me a discount for paying cash.
The phrase estar de rebaja means that something is reduced.
Las principales marcas de motos están de rebaja.
The major car makes are reduced.
If you’re in a Spanish-speaking country, and you’re looking for a bargain ? una ganga ? look out for the sign REBAJAS REDUCTIONS.
To refer to sales, you use the plural:
las rebajas de enerothe January sales
In order to keep the salary agreed upon between the clinic manager, site administrator and the vice president of operations, I have to learn Spanish to get the bi-lingual supplement, AND discontinue my supplemental insurance. AND train to be signed off in 3 different departments.
That's if I don't get the HR position in El Monte. We'll see. I still don't know what the salary is for the HR position. Ultimately, I trust God with my future.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Updates...
Okay so I will start from today and go backwards...
This morning started as every other day, except that i called my boss to see if she wanted to meet at the nearby, downtown Covina Starbucks to grab a caramel macchiatto upside down before work. (She did.)
About an hour or so into my work day, she called to ask me to come to her office. As I walked down the hall towards her office, as began to knock on her closed door, a co-worker mentioned that that Erika, the clinic manager was in with her. Once inside, I knew something was up. Erika's first words were, "it's not as bad as it looks." Then went on to say that the company had decided to eliminate all the Human Resources and Facilities Assistant positions (5 total). There was about--literally--two seconds of, "gasp, wha...?!" before my composure was restored and I was reminded of when my spirit was quickened (more than once in the past few months) that 'they were phasing me out'. In fact, I even mentioned it previously to my boss and roommate as the new HR section of the "self service website" was being implemented and parts of my job description was being taken away. And...my mom being given a package a month ago was still fresh on my mind. (So I knew.) Erika went on to say that ther would be one position opening in El Monte at the Administrative Offices that I could apply for, however the pay or details were unclear. The only details given were that there would be flexibility in the schedule and it would end no later than 5:00 pm. There would probably be an office and the facilities part of my job would be removed. Another perk would be that the HR Administrator who knows me and I have found favor with would be one of the interviewers. The alternative would be...remaining at the Covina clinic and going back to being a receptionist, take a minor pay cut, have a mandatory late day and have to deal with strong personalities. Another alternative was...Medical Records. However, the dynamic in that department would not work well for me. Another option was for me to apply for the Site Administrator position that was open at the Commerce site. To me, that one is out of the question because I feel so inadequate and unqualified. Perhaps in the future after I am trained in each department. Both my supervisor and the clinic manager were very generous, stating that they didn't want to see me go but that they would support me if I decided to apply at El Monte and they would give their recommendation. Both of them went up to bat for me with the Vice President of the company to see how much they could offer me to remain at Covina. Also, if I stay at Covina, I would retain some of my "facilities" duties. My boss stated that she couldn't sleep the night before because she knew they had to meet with me, yet hadn't heard a dollar amount from the VP. I was told to weigh the pros and cons. The effective date for the elimination of positions is May 8th or 9th. I've decided to apply for the the HR position at El Monte and just trust that I am in God's hands. In the event, I am not chosen out of the 4--I found out that the HR/FA from the Margarita Mendez site isn't applying--I will be able to transition into the receptionist position at Covina. So...that's that. Again, I am not worried. I have total peace. Praise God.
I finally watched the movie, Fireproof the other evening while I was alone. At first, I thought the acting was somewhat amateurish, but then as the movie progressed, I became more enraptured in the plot. There were moments when the tears just flowed as I seemed personally affected by the love dare. And I'm not sure if I was touched because I yearn to have a husband driven by love in the way Kirk Cameron's character was, or that I just long to see astray loved ones turn their hearts back to the Savior who invented the "love dare". We have no idea of how many ways the Lord chases us down with His love--and at such great lengths!
My Spanish word for the 19th:
pelearse, verb
to quarrel
Many Spanish reflexive verbs, such as pelearse, do not involve the idea of the action reflecting back on the actor. You just have to remember that they are different from English.Siempre nos peleamos cuando hablamos de política.We always quarrel when we talk about politics.In the past tense, pelearse often means to split up with someone you were dating.Se ha peleado con la novia.He’s split up with his girlfriend.Or more generally, pelearse can mean to fall out with somebody.Se ha peleado con todos los amigos.He’s fallen out with all his friends.
20th:
perder, verb
to lose; to miss
Perder, to lose is a basic word which it’s useful to know. It covers the meaning of physically losing something.He perdido el monedero.I’ve lost my change purse.And also losing in a more abstract way:Está intentando perder peso.He’s trying to lose weight.Perdimos dos a cero.We lost two nil. If you miss a train, bus, plane, and so forth, perder is also the word you use.Si pierdo este vuelo, tendré que quedarme un día más.If I miss this flight I’ll have to stay another day.Notice how the -e of the stem changes to -ie in the previous example.
21st:
pertenecer, verb
to belong to
Pertenecer is another basic verb. You can use it to refer to things which belong to somebody:Este reloj perteneció a mi abuelo.This watch belonged to my grandfather. Or to talk about people belonging to an organization, club, and so on.No pertenezco a ningún partido político.I don’t belong to any political party.From pertenecer derive the adjective perteneciente, belonging:los países pertenecientes a la OTANcountries belonging to NATOand the noun las pertenencias, belongings, as in this headline:Última sobreviviente del Titanic vende sus pertenencias para pagar gastos médicos.The last survivor of the Titanic sells her belongings to pay medical bills.
So my Spanish doesn't seem to be as fruitful as it could be and I may need to enroll in a class. Being bilingual would help with the cut in pay.
This weeks lesson/teaching with the kids turned out to be really fun. I taught on Revelation (more specifically, the seven bowls of wrath after the rapture) and I think the kids actually got it. It is times like this when all the other frustration and feelings of inadequacies are worth it. I am inspired once again in my ministry/service.
This week has been such a blur and I haven't even done the walk yet. I am complelled to do this Walk For Life relay at Azusa Pacific University. I was told by my friend at our Corporate office that the company would be sponsoring me for $100. But now, with all the job eliminations, I'm not so sure.
Well, I need to get to bed since I have to be up at 5:30. I have no idea why I am up. I guess I just wanted to blog since I haven't even have time to check my emails or really be online mush this week.
This morning started as every other day, except that i called my boss to see if she wanted to meet at the nearby, downtown Covina Starbucks to grab a caramel macchiatto upside down before work. (She did.)
About an hour or so into my work day, she called to ask me to come to her office. As I walked down the hall towards her office, as began to knock on her closed door, a co-worker mentioned that that Erika, the clinic manager was in with her. Once inside, I knew something was up. Erika's first words were, "it's not as bad as it looks." Then went on to say that the company had decided to eliminate all the Human Resources and Facilities Assistant positions (5 total). There was about--literally--two seconds of, "gasp, wha...?!" before my composure was restored and I was reminded of when my spirit was quickened (more than once in the past few months) that 'they were phasing me out'. In fact, I even mentioned it previously to my boss and roommate as the new HR section of the "self service website" was being implemented and parts of my job description was being taken away. And...my mom being given a package a month ago was still fresh on my mind. (So I knew.) Erika went on to say that ther would be one position opening in El Monte at the Administrative Offices that I could apply for, however the pay or details were unclear. The only details given were that there would be flexibility in the schedule and it would end no later than 5:00 pm. There would probably be an office and the facilities part of my job would be removed. Another perk would be that the HR Administrator who knows me and I have found favor with would be one of the interviewers. The alternative would be...remaining at the Covina clinic and going back to being a receptionist, take a minor pay cut, have a mandatory late day and have to deal with strong personalities. Another alternative was...Medical Records. However, the dynamic in that department would not work well for me. Another option was for me to apply for the Site Administrator position that was open at the Commerce site. To me, that one is out of the question because I feel so inadequate and unqualified. Perhaps in the future after I am trained in each department. Both my supervisor and the clinic manager were very generous, stating that they didn't want to see me go but that they would support me if I decided to apply at El Monte and they would give their recommendation. Both of them went up to bat for me with the Vice President of the company to see how much they could offer me to remain at Covina. Also, if I stay at Covina, I would retain some of my "facilities" duties. My boss stated that she couldn't sleep the night before because she knew they had to meet with me, yet hadn't heard a dollar amount from the VP. I was told to weigh the pros and cons. The effective date for the elimination of positions is May 8th or 9th. I've decided to apply for the the HR position at El Monte and just trust that I am in God's hands. In the event, I am not chosen out of the 4--I found out that the HR/FA from the Margarita Mendez site isn't applying--I will be able to transition into the receptionist position at Covina. So...that's that. Again, I am not worried. I have total peace. Praise God.
I finally watched the movie, Fireproof the other evening while I was alone. At first, I thought the acting was somewhat amateurish, but then as the movie progressed, I became more enraptured in the plot. There were moments when the tears just flowed as I seemed personally affected by the love dare. And I'm not sure if I was touched because I yearn to have a husband driven by love in the way Kirk Cameron's character was, or that I just long to see astray loved ones turn their hearts back to the Savior who invented the "love dare". We have no idea of how many ways the Lord chases us down with His love--and at such great lengths!
My Spanish word for the 19th:
pelearse, verb
to quarrel
Many Spanish reflexive verbs, such as pelearse, do not involve the idea of the action reflecting back on the actor. You just have to remember that they are different from English.Siempre nos peleamos cuando hablamos de política.We always quarrel when we talk about politics.In the past tense, pelearse often means to split up with someone you were dating.Se ha peleado con la novia.He’s split up with his girlfriend.Or more generally, pelearse can mean to fall out with somebody.Se ha peleado con todos los amigos.He’s fallen out with all his friends.
20th:
perder, verb
to lose; to miss
Perder, to lose is a basic word which it’s useful to know. It covers the meaning of physically losing something.He perdido el monedero.I’ve lost my change purse.And also losing in a more abstract way:Está intentando perder peso.He’s trying to lose weight.Perdimos dos a cero.We lost two nil. If you miss a train, bus, plane, and so forth, perder is also the word you use.Si pierdo este vuelo, tendré que quedarme un día más.If I miss this flight I’ll have to stay another day.Notice how the -e of the stem changes to -ie in the previous example.
21st:
pertenecer, verb
to belong to
Pertenecer is another basic verb. You can use it to refer to things which belong to somebody:Este reloj perteneció a mi abuelo.This watch belonged to my grandfather. Or to talk about people belonging to an organization, club, and so on.No pertenezco a ningún partido político.I don’t belong to any political party.From pertenecer derive the adjective perteneciente, belonging:los países pertenecientes a la OTANcountries belonging to NATOand the noun las pertenencias, belongings, as in this headline:Última sobreviviente del Titanic vende sus pertenencias para pagar gastos médicos.The last survivor of the Titanic sells her belongings to pay medical bills.
So my Spanish doesn't seem to be as fruitful as it could be and I may need to enroll in a class. Being bilingual would help with the cut in pay.
This weeks lesson/teaching with the kids turned out to be really fun. I taught on Revelation (more specifically, the seven bowls of wrath after the rapture) and I think the kids actually got it. It is times like this when all the other frustration and feelings of inadequacies are worth it. I am inspired once again in my ministry/service.
This week has been such a blur and I haven't even done the walk yet. I am complelled to do this Walk For Life relay at Azusa Pacific University. I was told by my friend at our Corporate office that the company would be sponsoring me for $100. But now, with all the job eliminations, I'm not so sure.
Well, I need to get to bed since I have to be up at 5:30. I have no idea why I am up. I guess I just wanted to blog since I haven't even have time to check my emails or really be online mush this week.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Mas Espanol
palabra, noun
word
As with English word, palabra comes into many phrases. For example, when translating, you need to be careful not to translate word for word.No siempre hay que traducir palabra por palabra.You shouldn’t always translate word for word OR literally.Another useful phrase is en una palabra, in a word, in a nutshell:La casa es preciosa, nueva, muy cerca del pueblo y la playa, en una palabra, espectacular.The house is beautiful, new, very near the town and the beach: in a word, spectacular.
pechuga, noun
breast
Spanish often uses two different words to express meanings which English groups under one word. El pecho refers to the human breast, but if you’re talking about chicken breasts, las pechugas is the word you use.Nos sirvieron unas pechugas de pollo con setas y Marsala.We were served chicken breasts with mushrooms and Marsala.
pedir, verb
to ask for;
to requestSome people say “If you don’t ask, you don’t get”, so pedir to ask for something is a very useful word.¿Has pedido ya la cuenta?Have you asked for the bill yet?Notice the structure you use to ask someone for something, pedir algo a alguien:Le pedí dinero a mi padre.I asked my father for some money.Pedir is irregular, and the letter -e of the stem changes to an -i in some of the present indicative, all of the present subjunctive, and some of the preterite.No me pidas más.Don’t ask me for anything else.Me pidió una entrevista.He asked me for an interview.
pelearse, verb
to quarrel
Many Spanish reflexive verbs, such as pelearse, do not involve the idea of the action reflecting back on the actor. You just have to remember that they are different from English.Siempre nos peleamos cuando hablamos de política.We always quarrel when we talk about politics.In the past tense, pelearse often means to split up with someone you were dating.Se ha peleado con la novia.He’s split up with his girlfriend.Or more generally, pelearse can mean to fall out with somebody.Se ha peleado con todos los amigos.He’s fallen out with all his friends.
word
As with English word, palabra comes into many phrases. For example, when translating, you need to be careful not to translate word for word.No siempre hay que traducir palabra por palabra.You shouldn’t always translate word for word OR literally.Another useful phrase is en una palabra, in a word, in a nutshell:La casa es preciosa, nueva, muy cerca del pueblo y la playa, en una palabra, espectacular.The house is beautiful, new, very near the town and the beach: in a word, spectacular.
pechuga, noun
breast
Spanish often uses two different words to express meanings which English groups under one word. El pecho refers to the human breast, but if you’re talking about chicken breasts, las pechugas is the word you use.Nos sirvieron unas pechugas de pollo con setas y Marsala.We were served chicken breasts with mushrooms and Marsala.
pedir, verb
to ask for;
to requestSome people say “If you don’t ask, you don’t get”, so pedir to ask for something is a very useful word.¿Has pedido ya la cuenta?Have you asked for the bill yet?Notice the structure you use to ask someone for something, pedir algo a alguien:Le pedí dinero a mi padre.I asked my father for some money.Pedir is irregular, and the letter -e of the stem changes to an -i in some of the present indicative, all of the present subjunctive, and some of the preterite.No me pidas más.Don’t ask me for anything else.Me pidió una entrevista.He asked me for an interview.
pelearse, verb
to quarrel
Many Spanish reflexive verbs, such as pelearse, do not involve the idea of the action reflecting back on the actor. You just have to remember that they are different from English.Siempre nos peleamos cuando hablamos de política.We always quarrel when we talk about politics.In the past tense, pelearse often means to split up with someone you were dating.Se ha peleado con la novia.He’s split up with his girlfriend.Or more generally, pelearse can mean to fall out with somebody.Se ha peleado con todos los amigos.He’s fallen out with all his friends.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I HEAR SILENCE
Apparently, I had one too many songs in my "I Hear Voices" gadget and it was causing an error on my blog--thus preventing anyone from accessing it. So I deleted all the songs. (Poop.)
It seems to be somewhat of a problem for me since I am not able to listen to my MP3 player at work either due to the docking station running out of batteries. I thought I'd save money and take the cheap way out. I guess it doesn't pay.
I am tired this week. I became really emotional during my supervision with my boss when speaking about how co-workers take advantage of her leniency, the Wednesday night class was especially out of order, my chronic neck pain has been more evident this week, my knee has been bothering me, I've been fighting feelings of loneliness, my job has been even more demanding, I've come to a resolution regarding an old friend that doesn't make me happy, I miss my dad, I seem to have reached my max of weight loss, I'm turning 40 this year, and I'm still single.
I guess it's too much to ask for someone to love me...to ask me how my day was when I come home. Someone who is truly interested in me and what I'm feeling. Someone who notices when I change my hair, wear a new outfit, buy a new watch--yes, buy a new watch. *smile* A friend of mine from work noticed that I had on a new watch the other day. Who notices that? Still, I thought it was sweet. *smile* "I'll bet he is a good husband," is what I told my friend. She agreed. He just recently got married. I have a feeling I will never marry. I think this week is also a week for me coming to terms with that. What if God doesn't bring a man into my life. I'm letting go of that longing. I don't want to be heartbroken.
Been longing to listen to Maria McKee...it's been awhile.
Oh and I've lost contact with one of my oldest friends. It seems she has disappeared and hasn't left a forwarding number. I've called and texted, leaving messages, but it may not even be her number anymore. I hope she's all right.
It seems to be somewhat of a problem for me since I am not able to listen to my MP3 player at work either due to the docking station running out of batteries. I thought I'd save money and take the cheap way out. I guess it doesn't pay.
I am tired this week. I became really emotional during my supervision with my boss when speaking about how co-workers take advantage of her leniency, the Wednesday night class was especially out of order, my chronic neck pain has been more evident this week, my knee has been bothering me, I've been fighting feelings of loneliness, my job has been even more demanding, I've come to a resolution regarding an old friend that doesn't make me happy, I miss my dad, I seem to have reached my max of weight loss, I'm turning 40 this year, and I'm still single.
I guess it's too much to ask for someone to love me...to ask me how my day was when I come home. Someone who is truly interested in me and what I'm feeling. Someone who notices when I change my hair, wear a new outfit, buy a new watch--yes, buy a new watch. *smile* A friend of mine from work noticed that I had on a new watch the other day. Who notices that? Still, I thought it was sweet. *smile* "I'll bet he is a good husband," is what I told my friend. She agreed. He just recently got married. I have a feeling I will never marry. I think this week is also a week for me coming to terms with that. What if God doesn't bring a man into my life. I'm letting go of that longing. I don't want to be heartbroken.
Been longing to listen to Maria McKee...it's been awhile.
Oh and I've lost contact with one of my oldest friends. It seems she has disappeared and hasn't left a forwarding number. I've called and texted, leaving messages, but it may not even be her number anymore. I hope she's all right.
Monday, April 13, 2009
All About "O"
For the last few days, my Spanish Word of the Day has begun with the letter "O". A bit Odd, but "Oh well."
April 10th
oculto, adjective
hidden
We’ve already come across the verb ocultar referring to hiding or concealing things.
Nos han ocultado la verdad.They’ve concealed the truth from us.
Oculto, the related adjective, describes things which are hidden or concealed.
For instance, a news headline reads:Decomisan 300 kg de cocaína ocultos en cocos rumbo a España.300 kg of cocaine are seized, hidden in coconuts destined for Spain.
Oculto is often used with archivo, a data file on a computer:El sistema operativo no te deja ver los archivos ocultos.The operating system won’t let you see hidden files.
April 11tholfato, noun
(sense of) smell
El olfato is one of your basic senses, the sense of smell.El sentido del olfato está estrechamente relacionado con el sentido del gusto.
The sense of smell is closely linked to the sense of taste.In English, we talk about 'having a nose for something.'
Spanish uses a similar metaphor.Siempre ha tenido muy buen olfato para los negocios.He’s always had a good nose for business.
Olfatear derives from olfato, and refers to the action of smelling or sniffing something.Las burbujas permiten a algunos mamíferos olfatear bajo el agua.Bubbles make it possible for some mammals to smell underwater.
April 12th
olvidar, verb
to forget; to leave
Olvidar is the basic word for to forget. He olvidado su nombre. I’ve forgotten his name.
You put an infinitive after olvidar to talk about forgetting to do something. No olvides comprar pan. Don’t forget to buy bread.
And if you can’t forget someone, olvidar is the word you use. Nunca pude olvidarla. I could never forget her.
If you leave something somewhere through forgetfulness, olvidar is also the word you need. Olvidé el paraguas en la tienda. I left my umbrella in the shop.
*****************************************
I find it a bit curious that when I looked up the translation for the word occult, it gave me oculto for Spanish. And the English translation of the word had some similarities to the Spanish, yet some obvious descriptions were left out of the Spanish translation.
occult [uh-kuhlt, ok-uhlt]
–adjective
1. of or pertaining to magic, astrology, or any system claiming use or knowledge of secret or supernatural powers or agencies.
2.beyond the range of ordinary knowledge or understanding; mysterious.
3.secret; disclosed or communicated only to the initiated.
4.hidden from view.
5.(in early science)
a.not apparent on mere inspection but discoverable by experimentation.
b.of a nature not understood, as physical qualities.
c.dealing with such qualities; experimental: occult science.
6.Medicine/Medical. present in amounts too small to be visible: a chemical test to detect occult blood in the stool.
–noun
7.the supernatural or supernatural agencies and affairs considered as a whole (usually prec. by the).
8.occult studies or sciences (usually prec. by the).
–verb (used with object)
9.to block or shut off (an object) from view; hide.
10.Astronomy. to hide (a celestial body) by occultation.
–verb (used without object)
11.to become hidden or shut off from view.
What I also find interesting is that in the bible it reads: And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. ~Ephesians 5:11-12
Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. ~Matthew10:26
April 10th
oculto, adjective
hidden
We’ve already come across the verb ocultar referring to hiding or concealing things.
Nos han ocultado la verdad.They’ve concealed the truth from us.
Oculto, the related adjective, describes things which are hidden or concealed.
For instance, a news headline reads:Decomisan 300 kg de cocaína ocultos en cocos rumbo a España.300 kg of cocaine are seized, hidden in coconuts destined for Spain.
Oculto is often used with archivo, a data file on a computer:El sistema operativo no te deja ver los archivos ocultos.The operating system won’t let you see hidden files.
April 11tholfato, noun
(sense of) smell
El olfato is one of your basic senses, the sense of smell.El sentido del olfato está estrechamente relacionado con el sentido del gusto.
The sense of smell is closely linked to the sense of taste.In English, we talk about 'having a nose for something.'
Spanish uses a similar metaphor.Siempre ha tenido muy buen olfato para los negocios.He’s always had a good nose for business.
Olfatear derives from olfato, and refers to the action of smelling or sniffing something.Las burbujas permiten a algunos mamíferos olfatear bajo el agua.Bubbles make it possible for some mammals to smell underwater.
April 12th
olvidar, verb
to forget; to leave
Olvidar is the basic word for to forget. He olvidado su nombre. I’ve forgotten his name.
You put an infinitive after olvidar to talk about forgetting to do something. No olvides comprar pan. Don’t forget to buy bread.
And if you can’t forget someone, olvidar is the word you use. Nunca pude olvidarla. I could never forget her.
If you leave something somewhere through forgetfulness, olvidar is also the word you need. Olvidé el paraguas en la tienda. I left my umbrella in the shop.
*****************************************
I find it a bit curious that when I looked up the translation for the word occult, it gave me oculto for Spanish. And the English translation of the word had some similarities to the Spanish, yet some obvious descriptions were left out of the Spanish translation.
occult [uh-kuhlt, ok-uhlt]
–adjective
1. of or pertaining to magic, astrology, or any system claiming use or knowledge of secret or supernatural powers or agencies.
2.beyond the range of ordinary knowledge or understanding; mysterious.
3.secret; disclosed or communicated only to the initiated.
4.hidden from view.
5.(in early science)
a.not apparent on mere inspection but discoverable by experimentation.
b.of a nature not understood, as physical qualities.
c.dealing with such qualities; experimental: occult science.
6.Medicine/Medical. present in amounts too small to be visible: a chemical test to detect occult blood in the stool.
–noun
7.the supernatural or supernatural agencies and affairs considered as a whole (usually prec. by the).
8.occult studies or sciences (usually prec. by the).
–verb (used with object)
9.to block or shut off (an object) from view; hide.
10.Astronomy. to hide (a celestial body) by occultation.
–verb (used without object)
11.to become hidden or shut off from view.
What I also find interesting is that in the bible it reads: And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. ~Ephesians 5:11-12
Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. ~Matthew10:26
Friday, April 10, 2009
Grieved...?
I was on the 210 in my car, listening to Rita Springer sing about how deep and wide the love of God is for us, when I felt the need to cry. I felt grieved...burdened...somehow, alone. Maybe it was the fact that I had just come from watching the very graphic and intense Passion of the Christ movie. It's a haunting and intense protrayal of a profound truth. And just this week, I was asked not to forward that truth in any form. Sure, I was a little bummed (maybe even grieved?) because this friend--like my grandpa--was healed from cancer. And I have been praying the prayer of faith for her just as I prayed for my grandpa. And she is cancer free due to the healing power of God. So it is discouraging that the truth of that isn't acknowledged. But I press on because I know...perhaps...she too is taking baby steps. I suppose, just as the saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink goes...i guess the same can be said this way: you can lead a friend to the living water, but you can't make them drink it--or receive it. They have the free will to choose. Although, sadly, I don't think people really see it as a life or death situation.
There have been other good things and reports that have occurred this week. I have been blessed by children singing about the promises of God... and touched by a friend's strength to stand up against what she thought was meant for her and instead obey God's voice... and I have been filled by the Lord to speak prophetic words of hope into a friend's life who is going through a divorce.
In the movie, Claudia asks the Governor, "Do you know truth when you hear it?"
Do you?
Do I?
And even more importantly, Do we obey the truth when we hear it?
Because even the greatest truth can become common rhetoric if we refuse to heed or do anything with it. Quite possibly that's why it says in James to be doers of the word and not only hearers deceivng ourselves. (1:22)
There have been other good things and reports that have occurred this week. I have been blessed by children singing about the promises of God... and touched by a friend's strength to stand up against what she thought was meant for her and instead obey God's voice... and I have been filled by the Lord to speak prophetic words of hope into a friend's life who is going through a divorce.
In the movie, Claudia asks the Governor, "Do you know truth when you hear it?"
Do you?
Do I?
And even more importantly, Do we obey the truth when we hear it?
Because even the greatest truth can become common rhetoric if we refuse to heed or do anything with it. Quite possibly that's why it says in James to be doers of the word and not only hearers deceivng ourselves. (1:22)
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Resolution #1
I made a few resolutions for 2009. One of them was to learn Spanish by some means. So since I haven't enrollend in a class or taken some online course, or purchased some extraordinary dvd series...I subscribed to "Spanish Word of the Day." So at the very least, I will learn one word each day. Better than nothing, right? (Heh) Yeah, it's a little bit lazy. *shrugs* We'll see how it goes in a couple of months.
So here is today's Spanish word of the day:
obra, noun
construction site
Apart from its highbrow meaning of artistic work, obra also refers to construction sites and roadworks.Hemos estado visitando la obra.We’ve been visiting the construction site.In the plural, obras refers to construction work, and is something you will often see on signs.OBRASBUILDING UNDER CONSTRUCTIONIf you see the same sign on the road, it means ROADWORKS. And you may well come across it on the Internet.PÁGINA EN OBRASSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION
So here is today's Spanish word of the day:
obra, noun
construction site
Apart from its highbrow meaning of artistic work, obra also refers to construction sites and roadworks.Hemos estado visitando la obra.We’ve been visiting the construction site.In the plural, obras refers to construction work, and is something you will often see on signs.OBRASBUILDING UNDER CONSTRUCTIONIf you see the same sign on the road, it means ROADWORKS. And you may well come across it on the Internet.PÁGINA EN OBRASSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Melon Collie...Mel 'n Callie...?
Okay so as I was pulling apart chunks of roast beef with my fork and intermittenly glancing at this week's episode of American Idol, when I all-of-a-sudden felt the need to cry. In fact, it happened a few times. I was a bit self conscious so I took my tiny bowl of cereal (dessert?) to my room (don't ask about the obscure combination) so I could cry behind a closed door. It couldn't be PMS since I am coming off my rag--something that usually makes me ecstatic. So I thought I'd look it up on dictionary.com, melancholy of course. Just to see if it aptly fits this place I find myself in.
mel⋅an⋅chol⋅y
/ˈmɛlənˌkɒli/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [mel-uhn-kol-ee] Show IPA noun, plural -chol⋅ies, adjective
–noun
1. a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression.
2. sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.
3. Archaic.
a. the condition of having too much black bile, considered in ancient and medieval medicine to cause gloominess and depression.
b. black bile.
–adjective
4. affected with, characterized by, or showing melancholy; mournful; depressed: a melancholy mood.
5. causing melancholy or sadness; saddening: a melancholy occasion.
6. soberly thoughtful; pensive.
Origin: 1275–1325; ME melancholie <>melan- + chol() bile + -ia -ia Related forms:
mel⋅an⋅chol⋅i⋅ly, adverb
mel⋅an⋅chol⋅i⋅ness, noun
Synonyms:1. sadness, dejection, despondency. 2. seriousness. 4. gloomy, despondent, blue, dispirited, sorrowful, dismal, doleful, glum, downcast. 6. serious.
Antonyms:1. cheer, happiness. 5. happy.
Dictionary.com UnabridgedBased on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009. Cite This Source
Related Words for : melancholy
melancholic, black bile
I found the "black bile" part of the listed definitions a bit humorous since I've consumed two bananas this week alone (more than I have consumed on a weekly basis before) and it seems to have caused me to be somewhat constipated. How fair is that? Ya try to be good and eat healthy, right? Anyway...random.
Maybe I am feeling the way I am due to the state our 5th - 8th grade class is in. Trying to organize prayer tonight--even a five minute prayer--was like giving my friend Mal's cat a bath (they don't sit still for it and it takes longer than it should making it a long, somewhat hysterical process. But you know it needs to be done so you press on.). And though I care about these kids, I'm afraid I don't really know them. So maybe that's something to concentrate and work on in the coming months.
By the way, the words I feel more aptly fit to my current mood and personality are highlighted in yellow above.
mel⋅an⋅chol⋅y
/ˈmɛlənˌkɒli/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [mel-uhn-kol-ee] Show IPA noun, plural -chol⋅ies, adjective
–noun
1. a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression.
2. sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.
3. Archaic.
a. the condition of having too much black bile, considered in ancient and medieval medicine to cause gloominess and depression.
b. black bile.
–adjective
4. affected with, characterized by, or showing melancholy; mournful; depressed: a melancholy mood.
5. causing melancholy or sadness; saddening: a melancholy occasion.
6. soberly thoughtful; pensive.
Origin: 1275–1325; ME melancholie <>melan- + chol() bile + -ia -ia Related forms:
mel⋅an⋅chol⋅i⋅ly, adverb
mel⋅an⋅chol⋅i⋅ness, noun
Synonyms:1. sadness, dejection, despondency. 2. seriousness. 4. gloomy, despondent, blue, dispirited, sorrowful, dismal, doleful, glum, downcast. 6. serious.
Antonyms:1. cheer, happiness. 5. happy.
Dictionary.com UnabridgedBased on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009. Cite This Source
Related Words for : melancholy
melancholic, black bile
I found the "black bile" part of the listed definitions a bit humorous since I've consumed two bananas this week alone (more than I have consumed on a weekly basis before) and it seems to have caused me to be somewhat constipated. How fair is that? Ya try to be good and eat healthy, right? Anyway...random.
Maybe I am feeling the way I am due to the state our 5th - 8th grade class is in. Trying to organize prayer tonight--even a five minute prayer--was like giving my friend Mal's cat a bath (they don't sit still for it and it takes longer than it should making it a long, somewhat hysterical process. But you know it needs to be done so you press on.). And though I care about these kids, I'm afraid I don't really know them. So maybe that's something to concentrate and work on in the coming months.
By the way, the words I feel more aptly fit to my current mood and personality are highlighted in yellow above.
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