Friday, September 25, 2009
Concert
Saw Jennifer Knapp tonight in Hollywood. It was once again an intimate, acoustic set that highlighted her raspy, yet vulnerable voice. She looks very much the same. The set wasn't nearly long enough.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Surprise
Today I got a text message from my old friend Anna whom I haven't spoken to (really) in about 2 years. There have been a couple of times when we have shared a brief conversation about my hair or an email about a job for my mom, but our friendship has never been the same. Ever since Monike told her that she was pregnant at my house and she basically attacked her. I had to fight her off and threaten to call the police. It was emotionally and physically exhausting and we were never really friends after that. She stopped going to church and we just basically stopped talking. Monike's baby (Ellena) just turned two.
Well, I guess Monike told her about my car accident on Saturday morning. So she texted me today to ask how my ankle was. (No broken bones, just a sprain, bruises and soreness.) I texted her back to say that I was ok, wearing a brace and it was getting better, but that my car may be totaled. A few minutes later, she called to ask me what happened. It wasn't my fault, the girl turned into me. I trust that the Lord works everything together for me. I still owe on the car so there's that. Strangely, just the night before the accident I was telling two friends from church that I thought I needed a new car since mine was acting up with the high idle that I just had repaired. And then the next day, someone crashes into me. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
I was on my way (headed east) to pick up my grandparents for prayer when a Hundai pulled out (on my right headed west) and was headed right for me. I tried swerving to the left side but there were two parked cars. I honked and put in the brakes but could only brace myself. Both of my airbags deployed and I was then slowing rolling over to the left hand side of the street to get out of the middle of it, but there was a trash bin on the left as well. The smell of the airbags smoke was terrible. I immediately looked for my purse and phone and called my mom. I told her I was in an accident and asked if she and Chris could come. I had already jumped out of the car limping becuase of a sore ankle. Then I called my cousin Marissa to tell her that I wasn't gonna be able to pick up grandma and grandpa for church because of the accident. She asked where I was and said she'd be right there. I was hobbling towards the sidewalk and shaking. Then a young girl came up and asked me If I was alright. I told her yes. Then one of the neighbors came out and brought over a chair for me to sit on. The driver of the other car (an older girl) asked me if I was alright and I told her yes and asked if they were ok. She said they were. Their car was on the other side of the street (headed east). The neighbor got me to sit down and then she gave me some bread to help me stop shaking and calm me down. The police showed up and began asking me questions. Then my mom and Chris got there. Then a minute or two later, Marissa and her whole family got there. My ankle was throbbing. I wans' table to find my registration or insurance which is the strangest thing because I just put my updated auto insurance in the case and put it back into the glove box. My hood buckled, windshield cracked and bumper looked to be hanging off. I didn't really get to see it before it got towed away since people kept telling me to sit down--I think I may have been in shock. I had my seat belt on, I wasn't on my cell phone and I wasn't going any faster than about 30. All I can do is praise the Lord that I wasn't seriously hurt. Strangely...my rental car is the exact same, make, model and color car of the one that ran into me. Hopefully, their insurance will pay for my trip to the ER ($50) and the vicodin prescribed ($10) and the cost of having my car towed to my friend's husband's shop ($165). But I'm praying that even my car expense is taken care of since I still have a balance. I've been thinking about getting a newer car for some time now.
God knows. I know this.
And as far as my friendship with Anna goes, He knows how that will turn out too. All I can do is pray and try to be obedient.
The morning just before the accident, I read my devotional and it was taken from Exodus 3:7 Surely I have seen the affliction of My people...and have given heed to their cry. Sometimes after the accident I thought of this...He hears our cry BEFORE we even ask. He is amazing. And His words come just in time. So I hold onto that promise.
Well, I guess Monike told her about my car accident on Saturday morning. So she texted me today to ask how my ankle was. (No broken bones, just a sprain, bruises and soreness.) I texted her back to say that I was ok, wearing a brace and it was getting better, but that my car may be totaled. A few minutes later, she called to ask me what happened. It wasn't my fault, the girl turned into me. I trust that the Lord works everything together for me. I still owe on the car so there's that. Strangely, just the night before the accident I was telling two friends from church that I thought I needed a new car since mine was acting up with the high idle that I just had repaired. And then the next day, someone crashes into me. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
I was on my way (headed east) to pick up my grandparents for prayer when a Hundai pulled out (on my right headed west) and was headed right for me. I tried swerving to the left side but there were two parked cars. I honked and put in the brakes but could only brace myself. Both of my airbags deployed and I was then slowing rolling over to the left hand side of the street to get out of the middle of it, but there was a trash bin on the left as well. The smell of the airbags smoke was terrible. I immediately looked for my purse and phone and called my mom. I told her I was in an accident and asked if she and Chris could come. I had already jumped out of the car limping becuase of a sore ankle. Then I called my cousin Marissa to tell her that I wasn't gonna be able to pick up grandma and grandpa for church because of the accident. She asked where I was and said she'd be right there. I was hobbling towards the sidewalk and shaking. Then a young girl came up and asked me If I was alright. I told her yes. Then one of the neighbors came out and brought over a chair for me to sit on. The driver of the other car (an older girl) asked me if I was alright and I told her yes and asked if they were ok. She said they were. Their car was on the other side of the street (headed east). The neighbor got me to sit down and then she gave me some bread to help me stop shaking and calm me down. The police showed up and began asking me questions. Then my mom and Chris got there. Then a minute or two later, Marissa and her whole family got there. My ankle was throbbing. I wans' table to find my registration or insurance which is the strangest thing because I just put my updated auto insurance in the case and put it back into the glove box. My hood buckled, windshield cracked and bumper looked to be hanging off. I didn't really get to see it before it got towed away since people kept telling me to sit down--I think I may have been in shock. I had my seat belt on, I wasn't on my cell phone and I wasn't going any faster than about 30. All I can do is praise the Lord that I wasn't seriously hurt. Strangely...my rental car is the exact same, make, model and color car of the one that ran into me. Hopefully, their insurance will pay for my trip to the ER ($50) and the vicodin prescribed ($10) and the cost of having my car towed to my friend's husband's shop ($165). But I'm praying that even my car expense is taken care of since I still have a balance. I've been thinking about getting a newer car for some time now.
God knows. I know this.
And as far as my friendship with Anna goes, He knows how that will turn out too. All I can do is pray and try to be obedient.
The morning just before the accident, I read my devotional and it was taken from Exodus 3:7 Surely I have seen the affliction of My people...and have given heed to their cry. Sometimes after the accident I thought of this...He hears our cry BEFORE we even ask. He is amazing. And His words come just in time. So I hold onto that promise.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Knowledge
"God's going to open up a greater depth of word of knowledge for you." The woman sitting in the pew behind me in church today, spoke those words to me(and more after service).
And that wasn't even the best part of the service.
And that wasn't even the best part of the service.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
4 am
Woke up with a burden to pray...what do I pray for? Specifially, it was a friend(s). In some situations (most), I feel helpless and the only thing I can really do is leave it up to God. So I did. However, I am still burdened and I wonder if this really is my burden to carry. I doubt it. In fact I didnt think it was. But when needs are dropped into your lap, it's very difficult not to pick them up. I do belive I have discernment, yet in this situation I do feel at a loss somewhat. And am I called to a fast? I know that fasting is (or should be) a part of every believer's life, however am I called to fst specifically with this in mind? I thought i was, then I blew the fast. And didn't feel the need or urgency to begin another one. Has the burden been lifted from me or have I just turned into a needy glutton with all the added stress going on in my life?
The new job is quite different from my last one--well, the one even before that. I did afterall, work at the El Monte clinic for two whole days. But I'm used to working with children; not adults who demand their medications and who threaten to kill someone if they don't get them. Or talk down to you like you're an idiot because they can't see thier doctor within the same month and so they start yelling at you. Yeah, that has been my week. In the midst of attempting to walk out my humility without feeling like a total failure for having been demoted and working out of boxes with a tiny computer cart and not nearly enough room. Oh and let's not forget the fact that I don't speak Spanish and every other call is a Spanish speaking caller! I don't want to be ungrateful for still having a job, when a few of my friends were layed off, but I'm not sure how long I can do this reception job. This is not what I signed up for. And right now--I don't know if it's because my ego has been bruised--but I don't have joy or contentment. In fact, I've been late three times this week and contemplated calling out for two of those days! And we had a shorter week! When co-workers asked me 'how things were going'...I told them that I didn't want to be like an Israelite who walked around murmuring and complaining and wandering in the desert for forty years. I seriously don't. But for the time being...I find myself in this place where I am burdened and discontent. So...I will get up in about an hour to go join my church family in prayer for the needs of our nation and other church members. I know that I am called to that. Lord, help me. I chose to stay home and go to our Friday night family dinner...I got some routine cleaning done. And now, as I think about it, perhaps the fast isn't about me. Obviously, I know that, but the purpose behind it is to draw me into a more intimate relationship with God. Not so I can in some way earn brownie points or run through a list of prayer needs faster. It is to die to the flesh...something I am not doing well since I am discontent. Maybe fasting is more of a means to help us see where we are not and how far away from God we actually are. And maybe it varies for each believer. Whatever the case, I do want to be closer to the heart of God. I want to see Him for who He is and not just for who I want Him to be. I've got a long way to go.
The new job is quite different from my last one--well, the one even before that. I did afterall, work at the El Monte clinic for two whole days. But I'm used to working with children; not adults who demand their medications and who threaten to kill someone if they don't get them. Or talk down to you like you're an idiot because they can't see thier doctor within the same month and so they start yelling at you. Yeah, that has been my week. In the midst of attempting to walk out my humility without feeling like a total failure for having been demoted and working out of boxes with a tiny computer cart and not nearly enough room. Oh and let's not forget the fact that I don't speak Spanish and every other call is a Spanish speaking caller! I don't want to be ungrateful for still having a job, when a few of my friends were layed off, but I'm not sure how long I can do this reception job. This is not what I signed up for. And right now--I don't know if it's because my ego has been bruised--but I don't have joy or contentment. In fact, I've been late three times this week and contemplated calling out for two of those days! And we had a shorter week! When co-workers asked me 'how things were going'...I told them that I didn't want to be like an Israelite who walked around murmuring and complaining and wandering in the desert for forty years. I seriously don't. But for the time being...I find myself in this place where I am burdened and discontent. So...I will get up in about an hour to go join my church family in prayer for the needs of our nation and other church members. I know that I am called to that. Lord, help me. I chose to stay home and go to our Friday night family dinner...I got some routine cleaning done. And now, as I think about it, perhaps the fast isn't about me. Obviously, I know that, but the purpose behind it is to draw me into a more intimate relationship with God. Not so I can in some way earn brownie points or run through a list of prayer needs faster. It is to die to the flesh...something I am not doing well since I am discontent. Maybe fasting is more of a means to help us see where we are not and how far away from God we actually are. And maybe it varies for each believer. Whatever the case, I do want to be closer to the heart of God. I want to see Him for who He is and not just for who I want Him to be. I've got a long way to go.
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